When Christina Hendricks's and Olivia Munn's phones were hacked and their private nude photos released online earlier this week, they both denied that the photos were real. (Go ahead and "do a Google" if you need to find them; they're not hard to track down.) In Hendricks's case, she did admit that her phone was hacked, and I know it's possible they are not her boobs in the photograph ... but girl? They sure look like your boobs. It's unfortunate that so much of the discussion about Hendricks is focused on her (awesome) boobs, because she is really an amazing actress. The undeniably gross ethics of this kind of hacking aside, these are not the worst nude photographs ever taken. They are flattering enough, and mostly in corsets? There are topless shots, but nothing like full spread or anything. The self-objectifying isn't that weird since these are actresses we're talking about. Munn has a couple of full body shots in lingerie, which would be no more risqué than publicity shoots she's already done if not for the obvious "intrusion of privacy" feel of the cam-phone shots and the extremely NSFW captions addressed to "Chris," presumably Chris Pine, with whom she was linked in 2009.
Those of you who follow me on Twitter I'm sure have noticed my sick love of poking fun at celebrities. I am frequently asked why I pick on two celebrities in particular, Chris Brown and Kim Kardashian. More often than not, people ask me why I hate them so much. I felt this would be a great opportunity for me to clear the air. I don't hate anyone. However, I do take issue with certain situations these two have gotten themselves into. Now, I fully understand that we are all human and we all make mistakes. I am definitely no different. If I were being watched 24/7, I'm sure I'd come across like a silly chick who curses too much and I'd end up addicted to antidepressants. The great thing is, I'm not famous. I'm a comedy writer and I produce a newscast. Everything I do is behind-the-scenes and I prefer to keep it that way. While comedy writing falls into the "entertainment" category, I don't consider myself an entertainer. Now, if I went and did something really off-the-wall, people could totally find out about it. The thing is, I have something called morals. I would NEVER physically abuse someone and I would NEVER film and distribute my own pornography tape featuring myself. Call me old-fashioned, but that's just me. With that said, I'd like to break down for you my reasons for making so much fun of Kim and Chris.
"Here you will find a timeless energy of beauty & thought. It touches everything! Strength, Confidence, & endurance. Get caught looking; exclusively for you!"
— Courtney Stodden's webpage
"It's really interesting how people, how the world, is trying to figure out what it means to have an extension of our identity, or a whole new identity, online."
— Tavi Gevinson
Courtney Stodden is the child bride (17) of Doug Hutchinson (51). Quick quiz. Is Stodden:
a) A professional model
b) An elaborate drag ruse
c) A typical teenage girl
d) All three
The answer? Somewhere between C and D. Courtney Stodden is a 17-year-old aspiring pop star who can be generally described as "mature-looking." She looks less like a teenage girl than a middle-aged divorcee attempting to look like a woman in her early 20s trying to look older. She recently married Hutchinson, a character actor who played "Horace Goodspeed" on Lost, "Loony Bin Jim" in Punisher: War Zone, and various small roles with names such as "Ifty," "Baseline," "Hoop," "Obie," and "Sproles." Most notably to me he played "Tooms" in two terrifying episodes of The X-Files.