If, like most of us, you spent your Sunday night watching Billy Crystal viciously mock Christopher Plummer, then you missed — well, technically you missed Pitbull's NBA All-Star game performance, which featured Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, and what has to be at least three/fourths of Orlando's lithe, smiley-female-dancer population. But really: You missed nothing. Over 13 minutes — 13 minutes!!! — Pitbull, dressed like John Cusack in Grosse Pointe Blank, mugged ferociously, callously switching out his precious lyrics in order to better pander to the collected NBA fandom. “Orlando make it crazy! NBA All-Star weekend! Everybody put your hands up!” No thank you, Pitbull. I think I would rather wander the concourse in search of a commemorative pretzel holder. Also: You “don't play baseball” but you “hit a home run”? Who is writing your lyrics? And how extensive is that person's whippet budget?