NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES
Shakira Was Brutally Attacked by a Vicious Sea Lion
By Mark Lisanti at
In the most shocking act of wild-animal-on-celebrity violence since Miley Cyrus was nibbled to death (R.I.P., Miley Cyrus, 1992-2011) by the burlap sack full of rabid, feral polecats father Billy Ray ill-advisedly gave her as a birthday gift back in November, vacationing pop star Shakira has self-reported a recent, terrifying run-in with a sea lion, via her Facebook page:
