Unbelievable though it may seem, the image you see above is the actual cover art for Take Care, Drake’s sophomore album, out next month. Please, allow yourself a minute to take it in (see the whole thing here): the towering candelabra, the creepy owl statuette, the pinky ring and chains, a false grail lifted right out of Petra. This is gold-plated perfection.
Surely, a lot of thoughts and feelings are now flooding your brain. The “saddest fancy-restaurant-corner-booth in all the world” vibe is potent imagery. Drake can’t possibly be serious here, right? This kind of thing slides in neatly with his current obsession — the unshakeable melancholy of his fame and his money — although that’s come across with a bit more nuance in the tracks released off Take Care so far. Throwing a whole load of gaudy crap together and then acting glum in the middle of it, though, is pretty much the most obvious way he could get at his thesis statement (well, he could have also been sadly pouring champagne on a lady in a bikini, or maybe sadly waiting in line at the bank in order to exchange a suitcase crammed with $100 dollar bills for stacks of ones). But Drizzy has to know how easily mockable this is, which is why we salute him for his efforts. As a standalone item, it’s a shining beacon of ridiculousness. Taken in context, it’s a dig at his detractors, a bold declaration that he’s heard you complaining about his mopiness and his sensitivity and maybe his beard, and he's not backing down. Either that, or he's lost his goddamned mind.