Are you aware of the tortured history of The Three Stooges movie? Its development dates back to 1976 and involves legal action by Bela Lugosi Jr. and the phrase “Stooges coke-whore slush fund.” More to the point is the fact that this movie, directed by the Farrelly Brothers — whose cold streak is now so long it could more accurately be described as an ice age — once starred the intriguing trio of Sean Penn, Jim Carrey, and Benicio del Toro. But they all dropped out, so we're left with Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, and Chris Diamantopoulos. (You don’t know who Chris Diamantopolous is? That’s okay. Some of Chris Diamantapolous’s first cousins don’t know who Chris Diamantopolous is). So the Internet was already primed to hate this thing. And now, here comes the first trailer to … change nobody’s mind! In the first thirty seconds, we get a “What the hell is an iPhone?” joke. In ninety seconds, we get a lobster crunching on genitals. And by the time we’re all done, we've seen Snooki get an eye-poke. Still, it’s not like America doesn’t love slapstick. (Who among us does not laugh at the mere mention of Home Alone 2: Lost In New York?) So maybe there's hope? Probably not, though.