The list of plotless childhood-entertainment entities that have been in some stage of Hollywood adaptation over the last few years is bewilderingly, intensely strong. Monopoly. Stretch Armstrong. Hot Wheels. Candy Land. Magic 8 Ball. Bazooka Joe. The goddamn View-Master. And that's all before Peter Berg/Tim Riggins's Battleship hits in the spring. If it lands successfully, expect a whole new slew of nostalgia-optioning. The point here: when, last summer, Universal announced it was dropping its plans for a Ouija movie, there wasn't much need for protestation. One fewer board game movie being birthed into the world? It felt right. It feels right.
But ohwaitaminute — the Ouija movie is back! THR reports that Hasbro and Universal have reheated production plans on the adaptation, only this time they'll be doing it for much less money. Original producers Michael Bay, Brad Fuller, and Andrew Form have been joined by Jason Blum, who's cooked himself up a hot streak by churning out micro-budget horror flicks like the Paranormal Activity series and Insidious. The original vision for Ouija — which came from the mind of, ahem, McG — was a Jumanji-style family adventure budgeted at $100 million. Now, THR's “sources say Ouija will follow Blum's high concept, lower budget model,” and will possibly be made for the incredibly low price of $5 million.
So it's back, and it sounds like it's really happening this time. The lesson here? Give up any residual anger and frustration you have toward Hollywood's nonsensical plundering of your childhood recreational activities. It is, evidently, a fait accompli. Sorry, everyone.