Frank Ocean, “Whip Appeal”
Maybe it’s because everyone in the music industry has spent their post-SXSW week intermittently napping, or maybe it’s because everyone in the music industry decided to hide all the cool shit from me — but this felt like a real down week for new music. Thank the heavens for Frank Ocean, then, who, to date, still doesn’t know how to take a track off. This one was supposedly slated for the official Nostalgia re-release, which is now not happening. Ah, why nawwwwt, Frank? “Hahaha. What I look like a year later re-releasing my last album? Not icey. Bitch I’m icey.” Also: “ONLY SAYING THAT FOR MY JOURNALIST/BLOGGER FRIENDS. i know my icey-ness is obvious.” Noted.
Kind of wish I were the manager for The Temper Trap, just so I could yell at them every time they write a new song that isn’t as movie-trailer/Coke-commercial perfect as “Sweet Disposition.” “What is this shit? Distorted guitars? A drum solo? Where is the instant sparkly delight?! You know what Cameron Crowe is going to do if I send this to him? He is going to slap me in the face." [Knocks a bunch of shit off table.] "Get fucking heartwarming, assholes!” Etc.
Madonna, “Girl Gone Wild”
Guns! Cigarettes! Thrusting! Intense stares! Butts! Mirror makeouts! Please tell me this video was directed by A-Rod?
Nicki Minaj feat. 2 Chainz, “Beez In the Trap”
One of two lackluster Minaj songs this week (the other being the Chris Brown-featuring “Right by My Side," if you’re curious). Saving grace: the lines “Rip it off no joking / like your name Hulk Hogan / n***** move weight themselves but live in Hoboken.” Apparently Nicki, like many sensible people worldwide, is not a fan of the Hobe’s gloriously pukey St. Paddie’s Day.
Swizz Beatz feat. A$AP Rocky, “Street King”
Araabmuzik tones it down, locks in tight, and serves up a concentrated streamlined killer of a tick-tocking launch pad. And Rocky continues his lifelong mission to never have to say much in order to sound like the coolest person in the room: “Goddamit, I’m a genius” sums it up nicely.
Danny Brown, “Grown Up”
Holy crap: A Danny Brown song that sounds like “Can I Kick It?” I am now really excited for the possibility of someone falling in love with Detroit’s finest based solely on this sunny, posi new track, then downloading his entire discography and being pleasantly blindsided with roughly 10,000 awesome Danny Brown sex stories. (By the way, according to this informed-sounding Stereogum commenter, that perfect drift beat is built on a sample from Gorillaz’ “Tomorrow Comes Today.”)
Rye Rye, “Boom Boom”
Before you go any further, you should probably know that this song majorly co-opts the hook to the Vengaboys staple “Boom Boom Boom.” (I want you in my room, etc.) OK, now you know. Proceed as you see fit.
Chief Keef, “I Don’t Like”
Please refer to Gawker’s informative piece for the full story on the rise of the teen Chicago rapper Chief Keef: It involves house arrest and Soulja Boy and grandmas. Then come back here and watch as Keef gets his reverse Julie Andrews on.
Trey Songz, “Sex Ain’t Better Than Love”
Trigga goes Sliding Doors to prove a point about misplaced passion and honest emotions and how all the buxom and willing groupies in the world can’t fill the empty rattle he once felt inside his ribcage. I mean, the guy practically invented sex, so I think we should take his word on this?
I’m writing this in a coffee shop with the worst Internet connection of all time. The only way I have managed to not stab myself in the eye with a particularly old croissant is the soothing drone of “Propagation.” You saved a life today, Lower Dens. You saved a life.