Galactic feat. Mystikal and Mannie Fresh, “Move Fast”
Actual lyrics from this (totally great) song: “Go Mystikal, go Mystikal, go! / Hold up / Look, I’m 40 baby, go slow / My back sore, I can’t party like that no mo’ / Get off the floor my knees won’t let me get that low.” I’m standing and applauding, Mystikal. Standing and applauding.
The xx, TBA
The xx have a new, as-yet untitled album, and are beginning to premiere it via tiny shows in their native London. Do you know how excited I am for more of The xx’s downtrodden, barely audible whisper-rock? Do you have any idea what I’m going to do when The xx release more of their "musical equivalent of a particularly halfhearted shrug" on us? Do you realize what we’re dealing with here? Do you?
Nicki Minaj, “Right By My Side”
Is Nicki Minaj just, like, trying to get people mad at her? More garbage pop-rap, a Chris Brown chorus — and she mind-melds Nas into thinking playing her love interest in a music video is a good idea? Stay away from our heroes, temptress.
Goodie Mob, “Is That You, God?”
“Cee-Lo! Khujo! Yeah, it’s me! God! What is going on, you maniacs?! Where da party aaaaaat! Whoo whoo! [Talking noises in the background.] Hold on. HOOOLLLLD on. [More talking noises.] Oh shit, I gotta go, I gotta go, I’ll call you later. Tell Gipp he owes me $45, let’s meet uuuuuppp!!!”
Fang Island, “Asunder”
Islands are weird. I feel like you’re either having an amazing, idyllic time on them, or you are being murdered on them. Which kind of the two islands would Fang Island be?
Fat Tony feat. Bun B and Nick Diamonds, “Bad Habits”
Ironically, the person with the best "rap name" credited on this song — yes, yes, Nick Diamonds — is not even a rapper. In fact, he’s a wispy, Canadian indie rocker from the band Islands (and originally from the late, great Unicorns). The world sure is a strange place sometimes.
Rick Ross feat. Usher, “Touch’N You”
For as undeniable as his ascendance in nearly every other sphere of the rap superstar universe has been, Rick Ross has still never quite managed the "for the ladies" jam. (Remember “Hit U From the Back” from his first album, Port of Miami? You do? Ah, crap, I’m sorry about that.) But, on what is apparently the first single from God Forgives, I Don’t, Rozay gives it another try. Girl, he’s gonna tat your name on him so you know it’s real. He’s gonna tat your fucking name on him so you know it’s real.
Childish Gambino feat. Schoolboy Q, “Unnecessary”
Say what you will about Childish Gambino’s technical hip-hop skill set, what other rapper is dropping Lex Luger-y ode-to-ignorance bangers riddled with Flex bombs the same week he’s embroiling himself in Girls diversity-gate? Why, yes, that was Donald Glover spotted shooting the second season of Lena Dunham’s previously-very-very-white HBO show. Also, “I’m balling / my mixtape can get you through college”? Word, thank you Q.
Sniffy Dogg, “Whispers and Stories”
The story here is that an ad company hired by Volkswagen tried to license “Take Care” by Beach House and was rebuffed. Instead of doing the normal, fair thing — licensing some other wholly unrelated song, or just going in a different direction — the ad company then hired a mercenary team called Sniffy Dogg (Sniffy Dogg!!!) to make a sound-alike track, “Whispers and Stories.” And “Whispers and Stories” is currently, as we speak, soundtracking a Volkswagen commercial in the U.K. This kind of thing usually drives me crazy — how dare they rip off real artists in order to sell cars!, etc. — but, goddamn, have you watched this father-daughter commercial? I can’t get too angry right now because I am weeping.
Adam Bainbridge is a long-haired English gentleman who makes electro-pop under the name Kindness. In this music video here he is teaching a small child who has never before used a drum machine how to play his song, “House.” It would have been easier just to do it himself, yes, but it also would have been way less adorable.