Grantland

Resize Font: A- A+

MOVIE NEWS

G.I. Joe: Retaliation: Why Was It Really Delayed?

By Tara Ariano on
Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images

No one you know was more upset about G.I. Joe: Retaliation getting bumped from opening June 29 of this year to March 29 of next year than I was. I mean, by the time those Cobra banners unfurl on the White House, I could be dead! When Paramount announced the move last week, the reasons seemed sketchy: Really, converting it to 3-D? This is a good business decision five weeks out from its scheduled release date? Sure enough, now this cover story is starting to show its holes.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, a number of factors contributed to Paramount's cold feet.

  1. Fears over competing with The Amazing Spider-Man, which opens less than a week after G.I.J:R's original release date (which … executives couldn't have anticipated that?).
  2. A crappy opening for Battleship, another military-themed action movie based on a toy (which, fair enough, was sort of a surprise).
  3. A rewrite involving Channing Tatum's character.

The last of these seems to be the biggest concern. (Warning: Spoilers follow.) The Retaliation trailer makes it fairly clear that Tatum's Duke doesn't survive past the movie's first few scenes. That might have been fine had Retaliation — effectively a reboot that quickly dispenses with the characters no one cared about in the 2009 original — come out in 2011, when Tatum was the poor man's Chris Evans. But 2012 Tatum has already had a couple of big films in The Vow and 21 Jump Street, so killing him off in Retaliation would be a bad strategic move for the franchise. The original Retaliation release date also would have put a dead Tatum opposite a live, lap-dancing Tatum in Magic Mike, so Paramount would have sacrificed its potential female/gay male audience, too.

Paramount's move may be defensible from a business standpoint, but none of that mitigates the emotional toll it has taken on me. Do I care whether I see more of the charisma vacuum that is Channing Tatum? Not really. I want to see Bruce Willis pop out of a car trunk and start WASTING DUDES LIKE WHOOOOOOOOOA! The studio better hope that my blood lust holds steady for the next 10 months.

Top Stories

MOST POPULAR

  1. Jalen Rose dunks on Michael Jordan
  2. The contradictions of Alex Ferguson
  3. The evolution of Mike Conley Jr., Memphis Grizzlies point guard
  4. The 13th annual ranking of the NBA's top-50 players, Part 3
  5. Looking at Daft Punk's new album, 'Random Access Memories'