When last we saw James Bond, uh, well, we have literally no recollection of where the franchise left him after Quantum of Solace, because we had to erase that installment from our memories before it tainted the greatness of Casino Royale. But this new international trailer for Skyfall, MGM's upcoming attempt to atone for the Quantum debacle, informs us that everyone's favorite Double-O has been chilling out somewhere off the grid, his presumed death — ordered by M because the Mi6 Geek Squad lost a hard drive? — providing all the cover he needs to spend his evenings at the local blown-expat-superspy pub, throwing down shots of Scorpionschläger while waiting for a crisis big enough to require a tuxedo fitting.
But then, of course, his country, and his Dame Judi Dench, needs him. He returns. "Why not just stay dead?" asks Ralph Fiennes, who's just seen how much fun the bar with the scorp-slammers looks — there are literally dozens of people to cheer on your retirement-precipitated drinking problem there! — and we can't help but wonder the same thing ourselves, having just gone through all of this with Bruce Wayne. The New Q hands him the obligatory gadget (note to New Q: A gun with a fancy safety? And it's not inside a shoe or a bow tie or a teacup set? Step up your game, nerd) he'll need for his upcoming face-off with this episode's intimidating über-villiain, Fred Armisen's character from "The Californians," imbued with the terrifyingly bewigged menace only Javier Bardem can provide. (The plot to destroy the world will involve an elaborate and utterly baffling scheme to create a distraction by further snarling the traffic in Southern California.) Things explode! Daniel Craig's shirt disappears at least once. There are many motorcycles flying through the air. We see a Bond girl. Shower sex! Fear is invoked. Bond sits on a chair, a sure sign his genitals are in imminent danger of being crushed with a knotted rope. There's polite chitchat about hobbies. And then all bloody hell breaks loose. Trains! Cranes! Helicopters! Guns! A loose cuff link!
Yeah, let's do this.