The only difference between Bill Simmons and me is that he saw the events of the '80s in real time, and I only learned about them upon sitting down in a room and watching '80s clips with Bill Simmons. Knowing this about ourselves, we decided to sit on stools, turn on video cameras, and watch a bunch of THOSE clips. This is the first. There are hundreds more.

But this one …

Well … Let's just say Bill was very excited. And I had no idea what was going on. The clip: "The Last Barman Poet."

It's a scene from the film Cocktail (I think) about a bartender (played by a young Tom Cruise) who works at a multi-floor bar called Cell Block (that happens to resemble the Thunderdome) and makes a habit of silencing the 70,000-plus patrons (who never drink, mind you) by standing atop the bar and (you guessed it) reciting a poem about alcohol and how awesome he is. It's all quite glorious, but again, let me stress that I haven't a singular idea what this clip (or film) is really about.

Actual "explaining"? That's what Simmons is for. Sort of.