We here at the Hollywood Prospectus don't just spend all our time on the Internet reading about the Oscars and the season finale of The Bachelor. We also occasionally do things. Thank goodness we have the Internet to show us how!
How to Become Pope
Mark Lisanti: As a Catholic, I was kind of crushed to find out I'm probably not going to be the next pope. There seems to be all these steps you have to go through? I thought that tweeting "Pope me up!" to @Pontifex was all it took to get your name into the mix. Lesson learned.
How to Curl/Burn Your Hair
Rembert Browne: There are about 17 fantastic things about this tutorial on how to curl and then burn off your hair. The best, however, is that after accidentally burning her hair off, she still posted it online, because she's a huge One Direction fan and, as noted by Ms. Emily Yoshida, "She wanted Harry Styles to see her burn her hair off."
When I was her age, I would have done the same thing for Stacey Dash. Related: I'm still behaving that way for Stacey Dash.
How to Make Squirrel Melts
Emily Yoshida: I generally believe that at the end of any cooking project, or really any endeavor, as long as the cheese is "all melty" and the squirrel salad is "heated up," you've done your job.
How to Tie a Bow Tie
Sean Fennessey: "How to tie a bow tie" may be the single most searched YouTube tutorial. This is the only one you need. Because, science.
How to Get Lauren Conrad's Headband Braid
Juliet Litman: It's hard to say what the lasting legacy of The Hills is, or will be. Some might argue that not enough time has passed since the show ended for an objective narrative to emerge. But for me, I'm certain that the lasting impact will be the significance of Lauren Conrad's front headband braid. What a practical and aesthetically pleasing hairstyle for girls who hate their baby hairs and flyaways! I know I'm not alone in my admiration, because a search for "Lauren Conrad braid headband" brings up 90 results. Alas, Lauren herself only demonstrates how to do the foundational French braid on her YouTube channel, but Claire Ashley gives us the tutorial we need. Beware: Claire makes this seem a lot easier than it is. You'll need to practice a lot to master The Lauren.
How to Cook Perfect Scrambled Eggs
David Cho: I don't know anything about Gordon Ramsay, but I do know that his method of making scrambled eggs is really delicious ("On the heat ... off the heat ... on the heat ... and back off ...") and when cooking demos are done by British people, it's hard not to love them (see also: Sophie Dahl and Nigella Lawson). Ramsay did an updated version of this recipe and video a couple of years ago that has Christmas, croissants (pronounced by Ramsay as cwah-ssans), and smoked salmon involved, so that's also really great.
How to Make Sushi
Andy Greenwald: Thank goodness Dr. Steve Brule is around to teach us how to appreciate the delicacy of shushi. All these years spent forgetting about the peaches!