So. This seems important.
On March 20 at 5:51 p.m. PDT, @MileyCyrus tweeted a Facebook video of a figure in a baggy unicorn onesie dancing very professionally to J. Dash's booty-friendly track "Wop." It's a mesmerizing, grainy, black-and-white clip, shot in one take, and at the very end, the figure makes a face and walks out of the frame, right after removing her hood and revealing herself to in fact be Miley Ray Cyrus herself.
- Miley Cyrus is an amazing dancer. I had no idea.
- This clip is unnecessarily artsy, and somehow, despite the heavy twerking on display, completely avoids being conventionally sexy, which is intriguing.
- I am no longer worried about Miley Cyrus (for the time being).
Within the next 24 hours, #MCTWERKTEAM started trending, and newly minted Miley fans across the Twittersphere started revealing themselves.
Yo My girl @mileycyrus Killed that Twerk video! Next Time Imma make it rain on her ( Grabs a stack of 1$) Lol U betta werk bitch ;-)
— Amber Rose (@DaRealAmberRose) March 22, 2013
— French Montana (@FrencHMonTanA) March 21, 2013
— LeBron James (@KingJames) March 22, 2013
It was clear someone needed to get to the bottom of this, so American journalist Ryan Seacrest invited the artist formerly known as Ms. Montana (OMG, were Miley and French related all along!?!?) to his radio show "On Air With Ryan Seacrest," where she officially announced that she would be releasing her first new music since her 2010 album, the commercial flop Can't Be Tamed. Oh, and she would be working with Snoop Lion.
So, that's big news — both the promise of new Miley tunes and that, in light of her recent dancing/PR coup, everyone seems more or less optimistic about it. But let's go back to the twerking for a second, because Miley pointed out something kind of interesting about it during her chat with Seacrest:
I could walk out and I could sing at the Grammys, and I will always be bashed, and I will always have haters ... I haven't really seen one bad comment about this video. This is the first thing! I'm like, [according to commenters] I can't sing, I can't act, I'm dumb, I'm a hillbilly ... but I can twerk. So I'm like, whatever.
She's Lawrencing, you guys. She might have been Lawrencing this whole time. At any rate, she looks way cooler than January Jones right now. Watch out, America, you may soon be forced to choose between your two new fun-loving 420-friendly girlfriends.