A: Because he's now living life one soon-to-be-tourist-befouled slab of the Hollywood Walk of Fame at a time!
You've made him the luckiest former bouncer in the world, America. Please take a moment to celebrate this important milestone with him. No, your smile can't possibly be that dazzling, gleaming like a freshly waxed Dodge Challenger idling next to a backyard cookout with the greatest improvised family a wheelman turned reluctant superhero could ever ask for, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy for him. Look at that face and just try to have a bad day. It's impossible. He is beaming pure joy into your heart with the force of a sports car bursting forth from the nose cone of an exploding plane. Your day is made. Check him out:
Bonus Unexpected Outburst of Unbridled Joy
This is a soccer match or something. True Blood’s Alexander Skarsgard seems pretty excited about it. Not Walk of Fame excited — he's got his work cut out for him on that — but pretty excited nonetheless.