You remember our friend Nicole Polizzi, right? It's been awhile, I know. A lot has changed, for better and for worse. Her son, Lorenzo, turned 1 this summer. She has lost weight. She still has a show on MTV, but nobody really cares. The boardwalk where we used to watch her and her roommates cavort in the salty summer night air of Seaside Heights, New Jersey, is no more. Snooki literally can't go home again.
And yet, out of the ashes of poufs past, a new Snooki has arisen. The young mother has herself been reborn — and like all the most important physical and spiritual awakenings, it is thanks to the power of dance. I assure you that even if you have been watching this season of Dancing With the Stars, you are not prepared for this. You may not even recognize her — a lot has changed. Not just Snooki, either — we've all changed. But that's our girl up there, working it out with uncanny flair and ease, as if she's recalling a muscle memory from a past life (or maybe just Club Karma three years ago), eyes on the future, ready for whatever it may bring. Go call the po-lice. Snooki just murdered the dance floor.