Tuesday, May 29, 2012
The New Prometheus Featurette: Enough Already, Time to Start Taunting Us With the Good Stuff
By Mark Lisanti
We know, we know. We've been tracking promotional Prometheus material — the viral videos, the various trailers, the top-secret Happy Meal toys* — like the artificial life of Michael Fassbender's enormous robo-penis depended on it. (There, we got that out of the way early. We can all relax knowing the obligatory dick joke has been dispensed with.) But indulge us once again as we proceed once more unto the space breach with the premiere of the Most Important Movie of the Summer (Non-Superhero Division) less than two weeks away. A little while ago, we looked at the clip that introduced us to Fassbender's David, an android that can approximate, if not actually feel, human emotions. Now they've deployed a "Making Of" featurette on the ship Prometheus itself, ostensibly important enough a part of this not-quite-Aliens-prequel universe that the whole movie is named for it, and it's worth the two minutes if you are as unapologetically in the tank for this movie as we seem to be. Think of it as an advance DVD extra. (Wait, did they just invent the "advance DVD extra"? They are really going next-level on this campaign.)
But now that we've watched the mini-doc on how cool the adjustable thrusters and the gigantic-wraparound-wind-screen-under-the skull-of-the-insect-carapace look, maybe we should ask one potentially uncomfortable question: Where are the unauthorized reports from super-secret advance screenings? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING? Possibly nothing, but the accepted next step of all this slow-burn buzz-building is being driven deliciously insane by the idea that someone's getting to see the movie before you. In the meantime, don't mind us, we'll be setting up a tent outside the theater, trying to perfect the viscosity of the alien saliva so that it drips off the Sigourney Weaver mask at just the right speed.
[*These probably exist, right? Please make them exist.]