|GRANTLAND.com: Hollywood Prospectus|
5) The dead barracuda never misrepresented what neighborhood it came from.
4) You can’t turn the current cast into “barracuda nuggets.”
3) The current cast doesn’t have a kick-ass, American-flag-themed bumper sticker.
2) The dead barracuda is less likely to have communicable diseases.
1) Unlike, 29 percent of the cast, the dead barracuda doesn’t have a tattoo that says "hakuna matata."