|GRANTLAND.com: Hollywood Prospectus|
Misc/Etc: "Zero Dark Pretty" "groans for feigning overwhelming emotion" "another cringeworthy monologue" "has long fancied herself a proper English lady (despite being thoroughly American)" "It'll take all her acting skills to hide her disappointment" "long before he discovered paisley suits" "There are gay men lined up outside my home right now, just to get a crack at these ginger curls" "no vodka for you!" "just letting their animals walk around while people are trying to enjoy an expensive meal" "American Not-So-Gangster" "we'll spare you the cat jokes" "Say Fromage!" "flashed her hefty ring" "Does this woman ever age?" " My secret to a great marriage is to make sure you give it to him every night."
"If I don't have anything to do all day, I might not even put pants on." "As soon as somebody farts around me, I think it's hilarious. My brothers used to cup it and then throw it in someone's face and say 'Take a bite out of that cheeseburger!'" "My publicist called me and was like 'This is The New York Times. Be serious.' And then I found myself talking about orgies in three seconds." "[Brad and Angelina] should be king and queen of America. I would pay taxes to them and not even think twice about it." "I'm the fastest pee-er ever. I'm famous for it." "I'm a troll. I hate myself whenever I watch — don't go see the movies, I'm a troll."
Misc/Etc: "If anyone deserves some barbecue, it's Matthew McConaughey" "I can't live in the past" "I'm happily married to a wonderful man and fall in love with him more and more each day" "long and fabulous" "help a bitch out!" "trucks full of adult diapers" "I love John Mayer" "She's a genetic freak and stunning. I'm human." "I worked with a bunch of cats" "Not that I get wild" "He was screaming louder than I was" "really just a hookup at first, but now it's forever" "I'm aggressive" "It basically said 'shut the fuck up'" "a child can understand they were not carried in their mother's womb" "just got my boobies finished!" "He's not a bad boy" "truck-stop prostitute" "some things are too sacred for TV" "I'm definitely not miserable anymore!" "I don't think I've ever really known what love is like before" "They have so much fun together" "Hip-hop. Drugs." "I have been in a makeup chair since I was six."
"I feel like there's stuff literally buried there [in Israeli and Egyptian ruins]. I would like to uncover the secrets of the universe. In my fantasy." "We should all believe in leprechauns. I believe in aliens." "Loch Ness monster, there's something to it. What distracts me from my reality is Bigfoot. They are my celebrities."
Madonna & Lourdes: Lourdes says, "I have to tell her, 'Mom, it is the in thing. This is what kids are doing now. If you don't do this, then it's going to suck.' Then she usually gives in." Well played, Lourdes. You will run Hollywood someday.
$402,200: The "bar tab that she helped rack up on New Year's Eve 2013” at the Barclays Center. $160,000: The amount her father, Bruce Paltrow, paid for the 40-carat diamond necklace Gwynnie wore to the Oscars in 1999 when she won for Shakespeare in Love. $10,450,000: The price of Chris Martin and Paltrow's 30,000-square-foot Mandeville Canyon home in Los Angeles. $114,000,000: Martin and Paltrow's combined net worth.