Everybody wants to poke a finger into Psycho, trying to reimagine the creepy recipe that officially put calling your mom “Mother” out of style. Some of the prequels, sequels, and spin-offs (including 1987’s Bates Motel) were OK, some were bad, and all of them seemed to warn “Don’t mess with Hitchcock.” Something about the original film invites audiences to B.S. forever about Freudian themes and shower trivia, and I guess if we’re so reluctant to let go of it, it makes sense that we keep trying to stick it in a petri dish. We have an innate preoccupation with diagnosing evil: Is it innate? Can it be caused? And which is worse? Anthony Perkins’s Norman was tragically fascinating, almost sympathetic. As “Mother,” he’s a monster; as Norman, his impulses are to prevent his dark side from taking over. The idea that he was once somehow pristine, or at least only as garden-variety creepy as anyone else, and became damaged by a platonic (or otherwise) dysfunctional love tango with his mother is an intriguing knot to untangle.
Every week, television documentaries present us with so many unusual people, with so many strange and/or disturbing problems, you might find it hard to keep up with all of them. That's where I come in! Here's an unflinching look back at TV's Week in Freak Shows.
Pregnant in Heels (Bravo)
Who Is This Now? Curtis and Jennifer. Why Are We Watching Them? They've sought the aid of maternity concierge Rosie Pope in planning their upcoming baby shower, though once she meets them, she quickly sees that they could use her help in quelling their constant bickering. How Did They Get Here? I mean, there's never just one cause when a couple clashes, except in this case, because Jennifer is a bossy, high-maintenance nightmare. What's the Grossest Thing We See? I can't decide which is the grossest, so you can choose among the following: Jennifer gloating that she and Curtis live in "the most expensive ZIP code in the continental U.S." (too bad it's in New Jersey, honey); Curtis responding to the news that he and Jennifer won't be able to have sex for six weeks after her scheduled C-section by saying, "Her ass is gonna be sore, but that's pretty much it"; Teresa Giudice among the guests at the baby shower; the reveal that Curtis and Jennifer have named their daughter "Reign." What Have We Learned? People who are friends with Teresa Giudice are as awful as she is.
Every week, television documentaries present us with so many unusual people, with so many strange and/or disturbing problems, you might find it hard to keep up with all of them. That's where I come in! Here's an unflinching look back at TV's Week in Freak Shows.
Pregnant in Heels (Bravo)
Who Is This Now? Chris and Nia. Why Are We Watching Them? They are at odds over whether to vaccinate their as-yet-unborn daughter: Chris wants to; Nia doesn't. How Did They Get Here? I'll let Nia describe her core values: "Being green, non-toxic, environmentally conscious is very 'en vogue,' it's so 'très chic,' so hey, it's the way to go." So at least we know she's really given it some very serious thought. "I am being preventative by doing things naturally," she says in another scene. And, in her first consultation with maternity concierge Rosie Pope: "Polio is so … old." I'm going to go ahead and assume that when Nia was in high school, she didn't excel in science.
I have a Storage Wars problem. I watch at least two a day. Sometimes, I watch five or six in a row. The show has aired 52 episodes, which, clearly, is not enough to feed the beast. There’s no clear explanation for this obsession — I’ve never had any interest in antiques, furniture, collectibles, or clutter. I’ve never rented a storage unit or been to an auction of any sort. So why can’t I stop watching a show that features a bunch of people wandering around storage yards in Southern California? Why do I it find necessary to re-watch the one where Darrell finds a mannequin phone? Or the one where Dave finds those weird Japanese gaming machines? Or the one where Barry finds that Munch-ian head sculpture? Why do I find myself Googling “What does Barry on Storage Wars really do for a living?” Why do I find myself planning road trips to the Newport Consignment Gallery?
