A person doesn’t become a pioneer of rear-entry scenes without accumulating a few detractors. Ryan Murphy’s haters are a diverse group: from the Parents Television Council, predictably wishing sex and other interesting things off the airwaves, to former fans who are sick (Sick! Green at the gills!) of illogical plot twists and disappointing season finales (Nip/Tuck being the prime example), to people who speak in Gleek and whose messages I can only decode by their use of the hash tag “I hate Ryan Murphy” — their numbers are vast and their emotions punctuated by zillions of exclamation marks. People love to hate Ryan Murphy so much that they will subject themselves to the Glee movie three times just to try to understand their reactions in the most masochistic way possible. Some of them grouse convincingly: Ryan Murphy has offended television viewers of varying sizes, sexual orientations, genders, and people with mental and physical disabilities. Others (so many others) seem infuriated that Murphy was unable to craft a human boyfriend for them out of the Tate pages of the American Horror Story script.
Below, a brief history of Murphy gripes. Perhaps one day we’ll all find peace, if Gwyneth Paltrow is willing to step in as mediator once again; if not, prepare to don your rubber bodysuit in preparation for the fiery, emotional explosion when Glee inevitably runs out of steam. And get your fire poker ready.
Watching the finale of American Horror Story, I figured — like many people probably figured — that Ben (Dylan McDermott) would be making a gory exit before the last commercial break. He had lost his wife in childbirth (along with one of their twins) in the same episode during which his dead daughter came out to him as a ghost, which is a lot to handle even if you’re a therapist with access to all sorts of serotonin reuptake inhibitors. That’s not to mention all of the guilt he felt from moving his family to the haunted mansion in the first place.
But he didn’t kill himself in the finale, though he thought about it in a series of Lifetime-network-style blurry shots of guns, wristwatches, and expository spirit monologues. Hayden (Kate Mara), with some help from a couple of the other evil spirit residents, hanged him from the chandelier over the stairs.
On second thought, Universal Pictures has decided not to move forward with Ron Howard's insane-seeming three-movie, two-miniseries mega-adaptation of Stephen King's The Dark Tower, which would have sent Javier Bardem's kids to private school and been one of the most expensive and ambitious productions in history. Instead, they'll more wisely spend the money on the next dozen Fast & Furious sequels. Grade: A [Deadline]
Anger Management, Charlie Sheen's sitcom adaptation of the 2003 Adam Sandler-Jack Nicholson movie, was upgraded from "pipe dream" to "pipe dream with a press release" yesterday with the announcement that Lionsgate subsidiary Debmar-Mercury will distribute the show in the unlikely event that it ever finds a network or a show-runner. "I chose Anger Management because, while it might be a big stretch for me to play a guy with serious anger management issues, I think it is a great concept," said Sheen in the release. Hilarious. Grade: D [HR]
