Angry Birdsthe movie is coming, and it's coming in 3-D. The question is, how relevant will the addictive slingshot-pig-avian formula be in three years (the planned release date is July 2016)? Seven years after the birds were released into the tropical habitat of iOS, they'll probably be more cranky than angry. You'll shoot them at targets and they'll just do a gripe-'n'-flop, breaking their hips when they land. I just want a 3-D feature about the happy Australian breastwhale. And I want it immediately.
Here is Martin Scorsese reviewing The Searchers: "I go back to The Searchers all the time. A few years ago, I watched it with my wife, and I will admit that it gave me pause. Many people have problems with Ford's Irish humor, which is almost always alcohol-related."
Before Angry Birds, there was Wii Sports. There was the stunt ramp of Grand Theft Auto, the big air of SSX, the power slide of countless racers. There was the lob of Halo’s plasma grenade, the rocket jump of Quake. And throughout it all, the man of 10,000 jumps: Mario, king of the video-game arc.
It is a primal video-game pleasure, the arc, so common as to be practically invisible. Yet it was there at the beginning, with Spacewar!’s lonesome sun luring players into strategic curves through its computer space. It has persisted ever since in nearly any game with reliable physics. The entire platformer genre, in fact, owes its continued existence to the arc’s inexhaustible joys. We launch, we linger, we land.
Kanye & Kim K: "They were acting like a couple of kids" as they hung out on the floor piano in FAO Schwartz famous from Big. "It had been West's idea to have the store clear out customers so they could visit a few in-store boutiques — like the Angry Birds shop — undisturbed. As Kim playfully tried on costumes for West's amusement, more and more fans realized the superstars were in their midst, and began chanting her name. West, as famous for his ego as his talent — 'really dug it.' For him it's great to hang with someone who's an equal." Equally down with furs and fame-whoring, yes. "The new romance is the result of months of hot pursuit by West, sparing no expense to win the woman who calls herself 'the ultimate doll.' Conveniently, the knight in mink-lined armor arrived just as the damsel, 31, has been feeling like the dating equivalent of 'a leper,' with guys too freaked out to approach her." Kanye is smitten. "He thinks she's his Beyoncé!" They went to see The Hunger Games. "Not wanting the evening to end — or perhaps trying to woo her into a sleepover — West played to Kim's famous sweet tooth," buying her ice cream, which apparently worked; "she spent the night at his place" and emerged with a visible hickey. They lunched the next day, "where West downplayed his self-centered image over truffle pizza. He's actually a really good listener." They went clothes shopping and each paid. "Kim can pay her own way and she's not riding his coattails. He loves that she's a powerful business lady." HE FUCKING LOVES IT. "She was with cowardly guys like Reggie Bush, who was obsessed with what his teammates thought, and Kris, who didn't want her to act too strong. But Kanye loves her Kimness. She's great the way she is and if people hate on them, he'll only like her more."
