We hate to say we told you so, but the uncomfortable fact of the matter — a fact that once again validates the ruthless efficacy of our Bachelor School learning program — is that we were right. We told you after the premiere episode, and we're reminding you now — not for ego-gratification purposes, but out of our solemn commitment to helping you win that final rose at all costs:
Don't wear a wedding dress on your first day.
It's the simplest of lessons. When you step out of the limousine delivering you to the threshold of Bachelor Mansion, wear anything but a wedding dress. Even now, the morning after Sean chose his ForeverLove, you might wrongheadedly question the logic of this rule, dismissing us as a rose-petal-devouring Cassandra while thinking, That wedding dress got Lindsay noticed. She made it all the way to the finale. Seems like it worked.
This is both a headliner and an early VOD premiere: Bachelorette will be in theaters next month, but you can watch it at home right now. But should you? Sure! It's pretty good! Kirsten Dunst fearlessly commits to playing the alpha bitch maid of honor to Rebel Wilson's bride. Lizzy Caplan is as endearingly prickly as ever, and the movie reunites her with her Party Down co-star Adam Scott. Isla Fisher plays an edgier version of the chirpy flibbertigibbet she embodied in Confessions of a Shopaholic (and by "edgier," I mean "fueled by cocaine"). And James Marsden finally gets to play something other than a cuckold: an unapologetic dick!
Since I like you, I'm going to give you an important piece of information you won't get from the trailer. You might assume that, since it comes from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay's production company, Gary Sanchez, it's a girly take on The Hangover that goes even further than Bridesmaids did last year. And there's definitely a lot more drug use and violence than in Bridesmaids. But although it's a very funny movie featuring lots of inappropriate behavior, it's not a raucous comedy in the Hangover mold: It's more character-driven, and more ... melancholy. How much it makes you gasp depends on how emotional you get about the fate of a fictional character's wedding gown. (In my case, it turned out to be very.)
Silver: Brad Pitt should just forget about mass-appeal fare like Moneyball and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. He’s so perfectly suited for characters that exist on the fringes — 12 Monkeys, Fight Club, Inglourious Basterds, and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Even if they’re expansive thematically and visually, Pitt is a performer who shines when he’s more understated, so smaller, more intimate narratives like Killing Them Softly play to his strengths. With KTS, Pitt reunites with Jesse James writer/director Andrew Dominick, and looks at ease playing a sleazy enforcer called in to “clean up” after a gangster’s card game gets held up. Although this film feels a little cheekier, it definitely exudes a Drive vibe. Like Nicolas Winding Refn, Softly director Dominick appears to have infused his offshore sensibilities and visuals into this inherently American story (Dominick is from New Zealand). I’m also looking forward to seeing Pitt and James Gandolfini onscreen together again. The two of them had terrific chemistry in Gore Verbinski’s underrated The Mexican.
Since Bachelorette premiered Monday night at Sundance, it’s been plagued with a singular obsession from the media: Is it, or is it not, like Bridesmaids? Trying to figure this out might warp your brain. Check it out: