Angelina Jolie is "Surprise! Boring in bed." Whaaaaaa? This alleged information comes from shade thrown by her ex, Billy Bob Thornton, who has said, "sometimes, with the model, the actress, the 'sexiest person in the world,' it may be literally like fucking the couch." FUCK YO COUCH, BILLY BOB!
Silver: With this first official trailer, we’re finally given a better understanding of The Master’s plot, and a much clearer sense of the film’s three leads and the roles they’ll play in the action. My previously written thoughts (based on the firsttwo teasers) were further solidified. Here are my two new takeaways from this trailer: First, my newfound love for cinematographer Mihai Malaimare Jr. His 65mm visuals are striking, and he seems to have perfectly filled the role after Paul Thomas Anderson’s longtime DP, Robert Elswit, was unavailable because of prior commitments. The other takeaway is how perfect Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, and Joaquin Phoenix appear to be in their roles. The quiet menace of Hoffman, the demure malevolence of Adams, and the inner and outward psychosis and rage of Phoenix. Even without seeing the film, I honestly can’t picture anyone else playing these characters.
Will Britney Survive on The X Factor? "It's going to be so much fun," said a "clearly uncomfortable Spears" as she took the stage at Fox's upfronts to announce her participation as a judge in the new season of The X Factor. "Doing X Factor may lead her back into meltdown territory. She gets extremely nervous and anxious. She's hard on herself and not very confident." Even a positive event like her engagement to Jason Trawick can "input as stress. This is a lot of change all at once for Britney. She's coming undone." While her last two albums went platinum, friends say she is not fully recovered from the 2008 mental breakdown that ended with a psych ward stay. "She really is starting to seem loopy and not right. She is so happy one minute and crying the next. Her emotions are fragile." At a friend's Brentwood crawfish boil, Spears ignored partygoers while "muttering obscenities by herself." She hung out by the food table, saying, "Fuck it, I'm eating whatever I want. I don't care." Being the world's most famous teenage pop star may have had some unforeseen longer-term ill effects. "Everyone she needs to see comes to the house. She gets her hair done or spray-tans at home. She is definitely lonely and doesn't have friends." A million sad smiley faces. X-Factor may exploit the curiosity factor. "The show needs a bankable pop star who will get viewers watching, whether they think she's ridiculous or they love her."
Rihanna and Chris: "Of the 100 people gathered gathered to ring in Rihanna's 24th birthday at a Beverly Hills mansion the day before Valentine's Day, only one stood out: her abusive ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown." A witness says, "Rihanna and Chris were very much together. He was touching her butt, rubbing her arm, and they kept dancing with each other. They seemed like a couple to everyone." But while they have "been covertly hooking up for almost a year" they have finally "become more open about their mutual affection." A Riri pal says, "Chris was a strong first love for her that she wants to hold on to. They had a violent, stormy relationship. Her friends obviously think this reunion is crazy — but nobody can tell Rihanna what to do." And since it was her birthday, nobody said an unkind word about Brown's presence, who "kept his gaze on Rihanna until past 4 am," saying "Isn't Rihanna beautiful?" to fellow party guest LaLa Vasquez Anthony. Chris "will always love Rihanna" and would drop girlfriend Karrueche Tran (whose face he recently had tatted on his arm) if Rihanna asked — but Rihanna prefers the control and power she currently has over him, even if Chris still has the upper hand. "She likes the loose nature of it and she doesn't want a boyfriend. This is dangerous, and she likes playing with fire."
And to think, I, too, once thought the best way to prep for a terrifyingly bikini-clad, Ambien-induced, unchoreographed performance was to drink a 24-pack of Michelob Ultra with every bacon-related meal.
·News from the front lines of Hollywood's noble war on Christmas: Desperate for franchises, Dimension Films has commissioned two different scripts for the sequel to 2003's Billy Bob Thornton-starring alcoholic mall-Santa comedy Bad Santa with the intention of picking the best one — and if they're both good, the series could become a trilogy. None of the original makers (director Terry Zwigoff, producers Joel and Ethan Coen) are involved, but Thornton is allegedly "eager to come back" and Tony Cox seems to be available. Grade: B [LAT]
·True Blood's Alexander Skarsgard will play another Viking in The Vanguard, an action movie about two brothers who head back to Sweden following their banishment to North America. Details are scarce, but Vanguard is allegedly in the vein of Braveheart and Gladiator, which presumably means dead wives will be avenged and Skarsgard will develop real-life anger-management problems after the movie inexplicably wins Best Picture. Grade: B+ [Variety]