Michelle Williams and Jason Segel: "No more blue valentines for Michelle Williams! The demure three-time Oscar nominee has fallen for longtime pal Jason Segel." The demure Jason Segel, you mean. "They are smitten and very serious." Despite living on opposite coasts, they've been spotted having dinner on both. "He put his arm around her and made her laugh as they walked."
Pregnant Jessica Simpson Is the Best Quote Machine:
"Oh, my God, y'all. I just had a daydream that my vagina ate a bag of Skittles!"
"I made 'slutty' brownies today!"
"The average person expels gas 15 times each day. The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!"
"It's time for my big girl panties and sleeping bra!"
"I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoo-ha. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks, it will be like a fire hydrant!"
"I just started calling myself Swamp Ass. Like, I have 'swamp ass' right now. I had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It's like the bayou up in that region."
Are you ready to have Britney Spears as a regular presence inside your living room? According to multiplesources, Simon Cowell is nearing a deal to land Britney Spears as a judge on The X Factor. And all it's going to take is $10 million a year!
The keyword for the Billboard chart in 2011 was "ANTHEMS." Anti-bullying anthems (Selena Gomez, "Who Says"; Katy Perry, "Firework"; Lady Gaga, "Born This Way"), party rock anthems, anthems for regular weekday night non-rock pre-work partying. Tons of pop-rap pap where diet-inspirational verses were soldered awkwardly to soaring adult-contemporary choruses. Videos with cinematic spoken intros (The Script, "For The First Time"; Katy Perry, "The One That Got Away"; Rihanna, "We Found Love") and further attempts, some very successful, to make VEVO the baby big screen it wants to be. These are my personal picks for a top ten from the Billboard 2011 Top 100 chart.
Oh hiiiiiii! It's your weekly frenemy, the tabloids, back to humblebrag about how hard it is to have the perfect husband, children, and job. You've been looking kind of tired lately! Maybe you ought to take it easy on the cocktails during holiday parties this month, especially since you're trying to meet someone. Oh, you're seeing somebody? Huh, that guy. Yeah I don't know about that. Anyway, I'm sooooo busy making tiny coral wreaths for my daughter Gingerbeer's fish-tank nativity and poaching a brie-stuffed boar sous-vide for dinner. I better go. Luv yaaaaaaa!
Kitchen Sinkney? Britney's sexy abusive British boyfriend at the beginning of the "Criminal" video speaks with a Michael Caine East London Cockney accent but they are at a fancy, posh-seeming party, so what gives (you know, because rich guys are never abusive boyfriends LOL). He demands respect and I thought of Dizzee Rascal and then he creeps up on some Leona Lewis look-alike while Britney is in the bathroom, wearing a classy grown-woman dress and hairstyle, spraying herself with her own perfume. Brit calls the home-wrecker a ho (careful, Brit, those in nude, glass-studded bodysuits … ).
When David Lynch announced he was dropping a full-length album, he had two options. First: Move radically away from the fragmented horror movie vibe everyone was expecting. Maybe pop out a few smooth, serviceable alt-country numbers, or an instrumental trad-jazz thing? Second: Move wholeheartedly toward the fragmented horror movie vibe everyone was expecting. This song is called “Crazy Clown Time” so, yep, he did the second thing.
Bad news, fans of freedom! China’s Culture of Ministry has released a list of 100 songs that will be banned in the country effective September 15 (music websites have until then to remove the offending tracks). The Ministry hasn’t explained why these particular songs are being banned, although the common presumption — despite the fact that many of the selections are pretty vanilla — is that they contain inappropriate lyrical content. And while most of the list is made up of Japanese and Taiwanese music, the Guardian to a handful of Western pop songs that may soon never be heard in China again. Now, in solidarity with our music-loving friends in China, Hollywood Prospectus offers a few alternatives for the blacklisted tracks.
