Tara's attempted suicide by tanning bed comes to a swift and predictable halt at Pam's black latex gloved hands. Pam hears out Tara's self-pitying excuses but she is NHFT. Tara's light-abraded pizza face makes her look like Freddie Krueger. Even if Bon Temps has a good dermatologist, they'll probably turn out to be a gorgon.

Sookie yells a half-assed "Sorry for murdering your soul mate!" at Alcide as his truck pulls out of the lot at Merlotte's. Sookie sure has a weird way of flirting. She's on her fairy blood period tonight. Lafayette reminds Sook that he could've sold her "peach-pie ass out so many times" but abstained out of dumb friendship loyalty. Fair enough, Lala!