Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle got together at the Comedy Cellar, texted Jay-Z, and left late-night voice mails for Lenny Kravitz and Arsenio Hall. They also discussed — joked? After midnight it's anybody's guess — touring together. RumorWatch continues with another drip from the Celebrity Survivor faucet. THIS IS PROBST'S LAST ATTEMPT. Jeff Bridges, come on, man. Haven't you always wanted to try your hand at puzzles? I think you could win this thing. Twelve more celebrities and we might have a green light.
Miranda Lambert & Blake Shelton: Splitting up is not on the table for the country supercouple. Lambert says she's questioned whether her marriage to Shelton will last "a million" times. "Divorce is not an option," Lambert said. "I will fight to the death. I am a ninja." That seems like a weird thing to say about your relationship. In order to keep communication open, Lambert and Shelton "are allowed to snoop through each other's phones." Has she never heard of a burner? They never spend longer than two weeks away from each other. "We text a lot. Even if it's just sending a picture of the onion rings we're eating!" OK, that seems less weird. They bond at home, "hang out on the porch, drink beer and cook burgers." Lambert says "I think it's important as a married couple to be friends." This all feels strangely defensive. I'm rooting for Lambert (how could I not be?), so I hope things work out.
Last night SpikeTV aired Eddie Murphy: One Night Only, a star-studded tribute to Eddie. And even if it wasn't SpikeTV, where every programming decision seems vaguely nefarious and inexplicable, it felt like kind of a strange time to do it. At any other point after, say, Dreamgirls, it would have made sense: Sure, Eddie's mostly fallen off, but let's celebrate all the awesome stuff he did back when he was on top. But then we got last year's false-start adult-comedy comeback, encompassed by the lukewarmly received Tower Heist and the canceled plans to host the Oscars. So now it's like we can't help but think about how, at some point in the last decade, Eddie either lost his nerve or decided he didn't really feel like trying anymore. It was an odd thing to see comedian after comedian come up and praise Eddie with what you could tell was genuine devotion, respect, and, sometimes, straight slobbering fandom, and to think, "but what about Norbit? Isn't anyone gonna give this guy shit for making Norbit?"
As an excuse to get a lot of funny people together and to watch a lot of prime Eddie footage, though? It was pretty good.
The Television Critics Association Press Tour 2012 rolled on this weekend. Presenting over the last few days were FX and CBS, and they had news on shows you like, shows you hate, and shows you probably didn't even know existed. To the breakdown!
As Grantland has previouslypointed out, this year’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony has — in a break from the institution’s time-honored commitment to having no one ever give a crap about it at all ever, at all, ever, ever, ever — some potential to entertain. And that’s because this year’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony has Guns N’ Roses. GNR long ago split into two factions: Axl and the Zombie Guns on one hand, Slash and the Rest of the Guys on the other. (Original drummer Steven Adler, who has spent some time on Celebrity Rehab recently, is probably more of a looking-for-cash free agent type.) So how would the actual ceremony shake out? Would everyone, with years of animosity festering, show to accept the honor? And would everyone then refrain from attempting to strangle one other while accepting the honor?
Justin and Jessica Biel: CAN SHE TRUST HIM? The formerly womanizing Justin "Trousersnake" is doing a 180 for love, having proposed to Jessica Biel. "Can one idyllic trip offset four years of heartbreak and drama?" The couple "split last spring in the wake of reported infidelities on his part." Biel's friends are skeptical that Justin will clean up his act. She gave him an ultimatum and he "came back to her with his hat in his hands." (Was it the hat he wore in the video for "Like I Love You"? That guy has a LOT of hats.) "She laid down the law: aisle or exit." After that, "it was understood that he was going to propose." She is not stupid about the stakes: "Everybody knows Justin has a wandering eye." But she ignored it "because she really wanted to stay with him." Timberlake, ever the charmer, told her "he wants to make this work too." Jessica won't put up with Justin's skeevy FutureSex/LoveCrap this time around. "There is no way Jessica will deal with his straying eye now that they're engaged. You are going to see some changes from Justin." Can we just hear some fucking MUSIC please, JT? Some people Justin may have banged or tried to bang, some while he was dating Jessica: Mila Kunis, Scarlett Johansson, Olivia Munn, Kate Hudson, Ciara, and Rihanna. "Then of course there are his layman conquests." Biel "struggles with his flirting, but loves him so much." Justin "seems to have all the power and is treating Jessica like a doormat. Often a week will go by without seeing him. He's calling all the shots. But she's taking what she can get — and the one thing she wants is to be his wife — at any cost." Timberlake "really loves Jessica, but he just can't stay monogamous." Ah c'mon, CAN'T or WON'T? "Basically his brain and his penis operate separately, and the brain proposed to her." So on their wedding night all she gets is brain?