A yellow-eyed werewolf drags B.D.W.R. down a hospital corridor as two others go in for The Scarecrow (Bill) and The Tin Man (Eric). A reconstituted Russell wearing dirty blue striped linen pajamas tries to make Sookie part with more of her precious fairy blood. Sookie shoots a burst of Spidey-Stackhouse energy from her palms, which maims Russell long enough for Bill and Eric to get the jump on him. They are discussing torture layout options when a group of officials with red laser beams tell them to freeze.
Tara puts Jessica through a bathroom wall defending herself in their Fangtasia catfight over guylinered Hoyt. Pam lets them scrap for a minute before stepping in to assist Tara. Jessica, not used to losing, swallows her ginger pride and limps off in anger. Pam gives Tara a compliment followed swiftly by a neg, because Pam is a world-class player. Terry and Noel from Felicity are making a run for it but get stopped in their tracks by the nefarious Ifrit demon, who throws a few posts of fire in their way. I guess bad luck will follow you out of Bon Temps all the way to the Sunnydale Hellmouth.
Sookie gets ready for an epic night of consummation with Big Dick Werewolf Richie (Joe Manganiello shall henceforth be known as B.D.W.R. after his role in Magic Mike) after some frantic hump-style petting on the couch. He carries her upstairs and she goes so far as to put her hair into a blow job ponytail before they are interrupted by Sookie's gastrointestinal issues and two lurky vampire ex-boyfriends watching them from the bedroom doorway. Curses! Fangblocked again!
Lafayette talks out loud to himself like this is Shakespeare or Passions. He looks in the mirror and sees himself as the blue brujo demon, apparently not recognizing his new potential to win RuPaul's Demon Race. May the best demon win! Lafayette stomps on the mirror and begs the universe for some help with the condition of his rapidly deteriorating mental health.
Tara wakes up in a supernatural forest whose filter effects are shockingly similar to those of last season's fairy world. She stares at her hand, which is usually what people do in a fictional situation to establish that they are on psychedelic drugs. Considering how horrible Tara's story lines usually are, it seems like things can only get better.
Fresh from her dirt nap, new vampire Tara makes an immediate break for her lifelong B.F.F. Sookie's neck. Sookie is used to people making plays for her magic fairy blood and doesn't flinch, but Pam (still in that wonderful yellow kitten sweatsuit) orders Tara not to suck on Sookie or Lafayette. I love the True Blood trope of vampires wearing sweatsuits. Gothwear is often binding and body-conscious. Capes are heavy! Who wouldn't want to kick back and unwind in a comfy, sunshine-colored, cotton cocoon?
