Why am I writing about the BET Awards? Because I love Televised Entertainment by Blacks (TEB), that's why. Also, they were awesome last night. Perfect, no. (The censor was drunk, I'm sure of it.) A few embarrassing moments, yes. (Someone needs to spank this kid. Oh, Beyoncé, you're on it? Cool.) But overall, awesome. Still super-proud to be black, 25 years and counting.

By my count, there were four main highlights. Let's talk about them right now.