[This week, we celebrate the upcoming debut of Piranha 3DD. Note: If you don't see the videos, please try another browser. We put them in, we promise.]

Chopping Mall

Alex Pappademas: This clip compiles all the death scenes from director Jim Wynorski's Chopping Mall, a 1986 film that apparently featured a whopping five death scenes — six, if you count the death of the primary antagonist, which is totally cheating, the way putting "Don't soil yourself" on a to-do list in order to cross it off at the end of the day is cheating. Also, the primary antagonist is a robot, so it's not, strictly speaking, a death. Chopping Mall's IMDb plot keywords include "Mall," "Shopping Mall," "Teen," "Exploding Head," "Female Nudity," "Person on Fire," "Blood," "Violence," "Murder," "Throat Slitting," "Sex," "Electrocution," "Killer Robot," "Actor Shares First Name With Character," and "Pet Store." All the ingredients were there — I mean, dude, pet store! — and in the sense that anything you come to with low enough expectations is pretty much incapable of disappointing you [cut here for Criterion-reissue-DVD-slipcase blurb], Chopping Mall does not disappoint.