Khloe, behind the wheel, driving Kim and Kourtney: "You ever want to take Viagra, just to see what happens? Do you become a horny little toad?"
They realize they're on the part of the MacArthur causeway "where the guy with the bath salts like ate that guy's face off?" Khloe wonders why you'd take bath salts if you knew something like that could happen.
"I think it's like a cheaper meth," Kim says.
"Spend a little more money, so you don't eat someone's face," Khloe says. This recap has already titled itself at least four times. At some point in this scene Khloe says, "Oh my Godula," which is apparently another word she is trying to make happen. Or maybe her God is a giant Dracula.
Kim is the one with the ass that launched a thousand ships and a couple of Kanye songs. Khloe is the one with a human soul. Kourtney is the other one. Kylie and Kendall are the ones most likely to sit at the right hand of Randall Flagg in Vegas following a world-devastating pandemic. Rob is the one who is not a factor. But at the end of the day, the true protagonist of E!'s Keeping Up With the Kardashians is Kris Jenner, the brilliant and ruthless CEO/matriarch/puppetmistress/alleged sex-tape distro-deal broker of the Calabasas Kennedys, a family-focused-yet-consequence-blind cable antihero as compellingly loathsome as Walter White, self-described in her Twitter bio as a "MOM, MANAGER, MOMAGER, LOVER OF LIFE, LOVER OF CHRIST." In case you missed it, that's Jesus in fifth place, behind "Momager," a made-up word that is now a registered trademark of Jenner Communications Inc. — and I'm not a religious man, but I'm reasonably sure that loving Christ means not giving the King of Kings the same billing in your Twitter bio that Rick Moranis got on the poster for Ghostbusters.
So, wait: Lena Dunham neglects to give her fictional alter ego a sassy black friend, and the Internet is all "#burnthewitch," but meanwhile TV history's most terrible lady-monster, Whitney Cummings, continues doing everything short of building her own orc army and everybody yawns? Priorities, people. Dunham gets knocked for being an exemplar of privilege, but you know what "privilege" is? Privilege is getting another chance to build a TV show around a "sensibility" the viewing public just finished gagging on when it was served to them in multicamera-sitcom form.
