One of the best features of The Colbert Report is the "People Destroying America" segment, and the video above is a prime example. Johnny Cummings is the mayor (and hairdresser) of a small town in Kentucky called Vicco, and he's openly gay (and openly awesome). His townsfolk love him, testifying to the Colbert reporters that "he's made everything better" in Vicco, something he accomplished in part by passing a law that prohibits discrimination based on sexual preference. His sole detractor seems to be a pastor, whose objections are overshadowed by all the love Cummings gets from the rest of his Viccoans (Vicconians?). Luckily, "he's got the law on his side": He's so popular, he's best friends with the local law enforcement.
"I used to be a way better writer and a rapper when I used to want a black Carmengia.
Now a n---- speedin' in a Porsche, feeling like I'm going off of course."
— André 3000
Three notes here:
The one obvious criticism: I really don't like how André 3000 is TOTES ripping off Kendrick Lamar's style here.
Chill, bro. That's a joke. Stay out of my inbox about it.
By the time you get to the end of this song, chances are you'll forget that T.I. is even alive because André 3000 is GODDAMN TOUGH here, son. If you're a rapper and you're on a song with him and he starts doing that hyper-nasally sing-song thing that only he and God can do, then just fuck your life. You're taking that L, that's all there is to it.
Happy Holidays, Grantland. Here is your stocking stuffer for the person who has everything. They won’t have this, 'cause it didn’t exist until now: The Soulquarian Box Set. Put it in your phone. Put it in the cloud. Put it in your hearts and minds. Put it on Facebook. Santa has decided you were extra good this year.