1. Sam & the Womp, "Bom Bom"

It was inevitable that the embarrassing parts of the actual '90s (heroin chic, Woodstock '94, Seinfeld haircuts) would bob up to the surface during this whole '90s thing that's been happening of late. So here come Sam & the Womp with a bafflingly popular end-of-summer novelty hit to kick off the dreaded ska revival, revival, revival. With a new No Doubt album on the way, it's time we collectively face our '90s ska past — Madness pin, checkerboard belt, skanking, and all. Sam & the Womp's Twitter page describes them as "ska/dub step/brass 'n' bass/good vibes!!" The bouncy Balkan horn section stirs up corny memories of the Swingers era. As you might imagine, ska and dubstep make for a particularly unholy union. The Womp is the name of a dance invented by the group. They are on Stiff Records ("If it ain't STIFF it ain't worth a fuck") and while there may be some trajectory from The Damned to this repetitive bullshit, it pains the High Fidelity record clerk music snob in me to think about it too much. To be fully fair, Madness's debut album One Step Beyond … was released by Stiff Records, and there's nothing inherently wrong with ska. But man, did this song give me douchechills. Dutch vocalist Bloem de Ligny looks like Paz de la Huerta playing Lady Miss Kier in a biopic and sounds like Björk choking on herring. Hopefully this will at least lead to people accidentally Googling Bomp! Records.

Grade: F

Best YouTube Comment: "I'm not gonna lie, when I saw this in an advert I thought it was just taking the piss out of modern music" — Inf3rnoCat

Young Jeezy feat. André 3000 and Jay-Z, “I Do”

Landing a verse from André 3000, the Big Foot of hip-hop, is a great way to show your industry pull. The problem here for Jeezy, though, is that Drake’s album just had a brand new 3 Stacks feature, while this “I Do” verse has been floating around for over a year. Come on, ‘Dre: goddamn Ke$ha gets a new one, but Jeezy has to settle for scraps?