Welcome back to our series Rembert Explains the '80s. Every so often, we'll e-mail 25-year-old Rembert Browne a video from the 1980s that he hasn't seen. Rembert will write down his thoughts as he's watching it, then we'll post those thoughts here. This week's installment was selected by Grantland reader/hero Joshua Hallatt: a Real People segment with Fred Willard. If you have an idea for a future episode of Rembert Explains the '80s, e-mail us at email@example.com.
Last week, Fred Willard promised on Twitter that he'd explain his lewd conduct arrest, wherein cops nabbed him pulling a Pee-wee in an L.A. theater: "Wait til u hear my version; much more PG. & my review, lousy film, but theater would make a terrific racquetball court." And because Fred Willard is nothing if not a man of his words, the gentleman appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon on Thursday to well, to make a series of awkward movie-title-based penis puns, mostly. Is it me, or was the studio audience somehow not browbeaten into laughing at these? Even The Roots look confused. The silence is eerie. But then Willard wraps up his bit with Fallon (who, it should be said, gets lots of credit for being the go-to guy for explanations of lewd conduct arrests from members of Christopher Guest's army) by saying this, and your heart goes out to him: "It's very embarrassing. It's embarrassing as hell. But let me say this: Nothing happened. I did nothing wrong. Everything is being sorted out as we speak if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything looks suspicious." Grantland believes you, sir! Now, how do we go about purchasing "Free Fred Willard" T-shirts?
Well, here is a thing that has happened: Fred Willard — the avuncular staple of the Christopher Guest repertory players, the go-to clueless old-guy for dozens of other movies, and, most recently, host of ABC improv show Trust Us With Your Life — has been arrested for what can only be referred to as "pulling a Pee-wee Herman."