Music Monday: Pitch-shifting "Get Lucky" converts it into a Michael Jackson–esque jam; a terrible inauguration song in honor of the Netherlands' new king gets pulled for crap lyrics ("I will fight like a lion, nothing will stop me / from keeping you safe as long as I live / The W of William, three fingers in the air, come on"); and Snoop Lion on his reincarnation (it was time to "take the party and put it on pause" for Rasta's sake).
Bill Simmons: I always thought Starman should have been a TV show. Here's the pitch: An alien comes to earth, assumes the form of a widow's husband, then uses his unlimited supply of miracle balls to save humans and animals while also learning lessons about life and making alien babies with the widow. This couldn't have been on Fox's fall schedule? By the way, this is a top-four Jeff Bridges movie.
Bill Simmons: Lisanti asked me to pick the greatest moment in 90210 history, which, of course, would double as the greatest moment in Fox history since the original 90210 was the greatest television show of all time. With all due respect to moments like Ray pushing Donna down the stairs, Andrea Zuckerman getting hit by a car (and, unfortunately, not dying), the Notorious B.A.G. banging out a squinty "Keep It Together" with Jasper's Law, the epic "You want a beer? You want to quit staring at mine then?" exchange, the best of the Kelly/Dylan/Brenda and Kelly/Dylan/Brandon love triangles, Kelly Taylor saying "I choose me" and even the ongoing comedy of the Season 5 opening credits (the half-turnarounds slay me), I have to go with the above clip because of the toxic combination of David Silver's embarrassing early-'90s boy band ripoff song, the B.A.G.'s shirt and Steve Sanders's blond afromullet. I was afraid to watch this entire clip because I thought it would give my computer a virus. Be be be my love ... ohhhhhhhhh ...
