Obviously, you should not hitchhike unless you really have no other choice. It's also wise, in general, to avoid killing someone with a hatchet. But if you HAVE to hitchhike, and you HAVE to kill someone with a hatchet, you really should do it just like this. Homeless hitchhiker Kai Has-No-Last-Name ("No, bro, I don't have anything"), of indeterminate age ("I can't call it"), is maybe the only person who has ever been a hero in a story involving thumbing a ride and blunt force trauma.
Google’s New Year’s Resolutions map, and its sometimes wonkified translations of those resolutions (“to be overcome in everything, do everything to all!”), attempts to capture the flava of 2013 at its most nascent stage. So far, we want puppies and more money. Will a slew of Ryan Gosling movies suffice?
Set aside an hour as soon as possible so you can watch this 1:30 video 40 times.
Now that you've spent 60 minutes in the most enjoyable manner possible, let's break down what just happened in the event that shall forever be known as "DMX vs. Computer," one step at a time.
Over the past three days, the world of Interactive has unapologetically descended on Austin, Texas. I say "unapologetically" because the cast of characters here to learn, pitch, network, pitch, collaborate, and pitch has to be one of the most awesomely aggressive, beautifully shameless collections of individuals I've ever witnessed. As someone with very little to contribute to the tech portion of this festival, my role as "Southby participant" has rapidly decreased in importance, and in exchange, the past three days have felt like a marathon episode of Planet Earth.
Bill Simmons: This is my favorite Super Bowl commercial ever. Back in 1992, I desperately hoped it would start a trend of big brands using smoking-hot women to strut in slow motion while purchasing their products, a trend that should have started back in the mid-1980s when Tawny Kitaen was rolling around on top of David Coverdale’s Jaguar in the “Here I Go Again” video (even if that wasn’t an ad). Every television ad has one goal: to make us stop whatever we’re doing and keep watching the ad until its completion, while also noticing whatever product is being pimped (and maybe even subconsciously wanting to use that product). I’d argue that this Pepsi ad accomplishes that. Seeing Cindy in slow motion in her prime almost made me like Pepsi, a product that I’ve hated over the course of my life more than any product other than Heineken. Cindy didn’t spark a glut of commercials with smoking-hot women strutting in slow motion for no real reason whatsoever, but maybe there’s still time. I just hope Heineken doesn’t try this idea with Kate Upton.
