Who Is Khloe Kardashian's Baby Daddy? "Photos of the reality TV star hopping into the tattooed arms of rapper The Game in L.A.'s Runyon Canyon ignited a firestorm of talk that she was cheating on her husband Lamar Odom — a controversy that shows no signs of abating." OK! then uses every photo they can find of Khloe with her hand on or near her stomach (there are a lot, from all different times) to claim she is pregnant. While pregnancy was her dream, "that doesn't mean it's all roses and lollipops." (Is that a phrase?) The Game says he and Khloe were just promoting his 60 Days of Fitness program. According to him, "We have never and will never be sleeping together. Lamar is my homie and her husband and I wish people wouldn't spread such false rumors." Do you though, Game? Because this is the most publicity you've had in years.
From Kirstie Alley oversharing about conspiring with George Wendt to snap a picture of Ted Danson's dick during the Cheers years to the revelation that Mel Gibson is dating Jennifer Aniston's body double, this year we learned more than we could have possibly ever wanted to about celebrities.
Scarlett Johansson Is Depressed: "She was totally out of control in Moscow recently" at a champagne brand's promo event. "She was drinking nonstop and barely slept. It was obvious that she was trying to numb her feelings." She's sad about her breakup with ad exec Nate Naylor. "She's not used to going home alone — it's a shock to her system. The fact that Ryan Reynolds is happily married while she's single again has done a number on her. And the drinking is taking its toll — she's been crying because she feels so fat." She got a lucky horseshoe tattooed on her ribcage "because she's feeling a bit unlucky." A rebound with ex-boyfriend Jared Leto quickly went south. "She thought a fling with Jared would make her feel better, but since it was only a hookup, it only made things worse." Time for Lost in Translation 2? I know I'd pay good money to watch Scarlett be sad in Russia.
Kirstie Alley's Juicy Memoir Is All About Men: She dated Tim 'Otter' Matheson in the early '80s "until one fateful night when his secret fiancée's unexpected visit forced Kirstie to escape out the window." It was then that she learned, "don't trust actors, no matter how many éclairs they offer you." She and Patrick Swayze had an emotional affair during '85 miniseries North and South while they were both married to other people. "Patrick told Kirstie that he was falling in love with her and she, in turn, begged him, unsuccessfully, to have sex." As in she begged him unsuccessfully or the sex was unsuccessful in some way? "This man and I never had sex or did sexual things, but I consider what we did more dangerous and a betrayal to our spouses." Does they mean they played, like, really steamy games of Connect Four?
Alley fantasized about Ted Danson and his "big dick" during her time on Cheers, although she never got to sample the merchandise. The cast once conspired to photograph Danson in the shower, but "things didn't go according to plan." Kirstie says, "George Wendt kicked the door open. I snapped the photo of the naked Ted. I swear to God he was well endowed. I would show you the picture, but my hands were shaky." She calls handsome Dancing With the Stars Maksim Chmerkovskiy pro "mysterious" as well as "capricious, rude, thoughtless, and bossy. He is also gentle, childlike, fragile, and sensitive." Be sure to take Alley's revelations with a lot of salt. She also claims she and John Travolta fell in love during Look Who's Talking, although they never hooked up. It's possible some of these passionate love affairs may have taken place mainly in her imagination. I wanna see the receipts.
Kristen Stewart Cheats on Robert Pattinson: The story absolutely nobody saw coming to knock Tom and Katie off the tabloid covers. "From the start, Robert Pattinson longed for more in his relationship with Kristen Stewart. Anything that would prove the guarded actress loved him as ardently as he loved her." I love how this story is written like Wuthering Heights. It's so perfect. Pattinson was planning to propose. "He wants to spend the rest of his life with her." Or at least, he thought he did until "photographers captured Stewart in a series of steamy rendezvous with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders, 41. Like a pair of hormone-addled teenagers, the actress and the dad of two — married to British Vogue model Liberty Ross, 33 — spent the afternoon driving around L.A. in search of secluded places to make out."
Except when you're the star of a film franchise, there's no such thing as seclusion from the wily paparazzi.
Katie Holmes, Newly Strict Mom: Suri and Katie hit a pet store "to play with a 9-week-old Morkie (a mix of Maltese and Yorkie)." Despite Suri's "best pleading eyes and sad pout," they escaped without a new pet. Suri "was really upset. She will have to get used to not always getting her way." With an unlimited budget for clothes and toys, Suri "had become very demanding and bratty. "Katie saw that Suri was growing into a monster." Now she aims "to be more than just her daughter's best friend. She wants to really become a parent and start teaching her strong discipline." GOOD LUCK WITH ALL THAT. "Tom bought Suri whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it." As a Scientologist, Suri was allowed to have "ice cream for dinner and choose her own business." Wait, that sounds rad. "Tom just used to let her stay up all night watching Scientology kids videos!" Okay, that's less rad. Suri doesn't love the new parenting style. She may enjoy going to prep school, since it will allow her to genuinely socialize for the first time. "Suri's best friend is Katie. She's not used to sharing or playing with other kids." It's going fine. "It will be a process. Katie knows it will take time to undo the damage, but she sees this as a way to start over."
Tom & Katie: "She pulled it off brilliantly. She knew how to get him." When Holmes left on a work trip to China in June, she found out that "Tom was beginning to audit Suri behind her back." Cruise's rep denies it. Auditing is the Scientology practice of "asking specifically worded questions designed to find areas of emotional distress." When Katie visited Tom on the Oblivion set in Iceland, "Tom was filming and Katie tried to discipline Suri over something. But one of Tom's Scientology handlers stepped in and said they couldn't let her do that, and they would have to call Tom." Katie "snapped" and realized her 6-year-old daughter was being indoctrinated. "There's an escalation of involvement when kids hit school age." According to one insider, "It wasn't so much Cruise she feared, but his inner circle and the people handling her. They were so controlling it was terrifying." Katie was "monitored around the clock" and "felt she was being watched more than protected."
The most interesting detail to leak out so far about the Cruise-Holmes divorce spectacular is that Katie Holmes used a burner to call her lawyers and start the divorce proceedings. Usually reserved for drug dealers and people having affairs, the disposable phone was a particularly stealth move on Holmes's part. She didn't buy it herself, but had a friend procure it. It means that Cruise presumably found out his wife was leaving him at the same time everyone else in the world did. He had no time to plan a public counter-strategy or beg her privately to stay. It also makes you wonder if her phone was being tapped, or if she had a reason to be paranoid it might be.
As you may know, Paul Thomas Anderson has a new movie, The Master, coming out in October. You may know this thanks to the shrill, girlish squeals of excitement that we here at Grantland emit every time any new scrap of info on The Master is revealed. Or you may know this thanks to the storm of anti-Scientology sentiment upon which The Master — which is "not about Scientology" in the least "not about Scientology" way possible — will soon be riding into theaters. As the New York Daily News reports, Tom Cruise has seen an early cut of the movie. And Tom Cruise, dear friends, is not pleased with what he has seen. Oh, this is so on.
It's the end of an era. A culture-defining, couch-jumping, Matt Lauer–berating, Brooke Shields–bullying, publicist-sacking, psychiatry-denying, temporarily-career-enfeebling, tabloid-enriching, adorable-clonebaby-producing, Beckhams-befriending, hairy-fat-suit-wearing, Burj-Dubai-scaling, Def Leppard–singing era. The end of an era we all hoped would last a billion years, but which, in the end, spanned a mere five. But doesn't it seem like they've been together forever? You know what they say: Time flies when you're secretly recording your escape plans in a journal you hide inside a hollowed-out Build-A-Bear in the nursery.
Will Britney Survive on The X Factor? "It's going to be so much fun," said a "clearly uncomfortable Spears" as she took the stage at Fox's upfronts to announce her participation as a judge in the new season of The X Factor. "Doing X Factor may lead her back into meltdown territory. She gets extremely nervous and anxious. She's hard on herself and not very confident." Even a positive event like her engagement to Jason Trawick can "input as stress. This is a lot of change all at once for Britney. She's coming undone." While her last two albums went platinum, friends say she is not fully recovered from the 2008 mental breakdown that ended with a psych ward stay. "She really is starting to seem loopy and not right. She is so happy one minute and crying the next. Her emotions are fragile." At a friend's Brentwood crawfish boil, Spears ignored partygoers while "muttering obscenities by herself." She hung out by the food table, saying, "Fuck it, I'm eating whatever I want. I don't care." Being the world's most famous teenage pop star may have had some unforeseen longer-term ill effects. "Everyone she needs to see comes to the house. She gets her hair done or spray-tans at home. She is definitely lonely and doesn't have friends." A million sad smiley faces. X-Factor may exploit the curiosity factor. "The show needs a bankable pop star who will get viewers watching, whether they think she's ridiculous or they love her."
John Travolta's Secret Life Surprises Kelly Preston: "Kelly was suddenly besieged by the reports of John's secret sex life." After their 11-year-old daughter asked what was up, Kelly "fell to the floor in a flood of tears. Suddenly, Kelly feels like she's been living a lie for two decades, and it's like a knife to the heart." The rumors about Travolta "have swarmed around Hollywood since at least 1990, when Paul Barresi, a gay porn star, publicly claimed that he and John were having sex." As a complete coincidence, Travolta married Preston in 1991 in "a quickie Scientology wedding ceremony." They signed a contract whose "exact contents are unknown" and "such agreements can contain almost anything — including prohibiting a spouse from speaking publicly about scandals." Jeff Conaway, who co-starred as Kenickie in Grease alongside Travolta, claims "that John once tried to perform oral sex on him while he slept." Conaway also says "that Kelly knows that John is gay" and agreed to beard for him, because she "wanted the lifestyle that comes with a marriage to a Hollywood celebrity more than love."
Well, Razzie lovers, things just got interesting, didn’t they?
All year, we’ve been disappointed by the movies we thought might be Razzie contenders. Transformers: Dark of the Moon? Coulda been worse. Rise of the Planet of the Apes? Frustratingly good. J. Edgar? Despised by some, not all. It’s enough to make veteran Razzie gurus like ourselves throw their hands to the sky and cry, “Why? Why must we suffer so? For God’s sake, can’t someone in Hollywood make a shitty movie that everyone hates?”
Kiefer Sutherland will make a dramatic return to television with Touch, which was just given a 13-episode order from Fox. Created by Heroes’ Tim Kring, it stars Sutherland as the father of a mute 11 year old who communicates through numbers. Along with his social worker pal Gugu Mbatha-Raw and gifted-children expert Danny Glover, Kiefer attempts to figure out the meaning of his son’s coded messages. Presumably, those messages are more insightful than your standard 11-year old’s “I want Burger King”? Grade: B+ [HR]
Alex Proyas’s adaptation of Milton’s Paradise Lost is adding a few names: Casey Affleck, who’ll star as Gabriel, the six-winged angel who teams up with the angel Michael (Ben Walker) to fight Lucifer (Bradley Cooper); and Camilla Belle, who’ll star as Eve, of Adam and Eve fame. Hopefully this movie is a massive success, if only to see easily swayed Hollywood execs attempt other poetry adaptations. Grade: B+ [HR, Deadline]