Rock of Ages (May 23)

Dan Silver: The heavy use of Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian” makes it almost impossible for me to look at this trailer with anything but ire. As far as I’m concerned, that song should have been retired after Boogie Nights. It’ll always be synonymous with “Cosmo, he’s Chinese". But the film is directed by Hairspray’s Adam Shankman, and has assembled a noteworthy -- even for a non-musical -- cast. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Russell Brand aside, I am curious and pumped to see Alex Baldwin, Malin Ackerman, Paul Giamatti and Tom Cruise flex their vocal muscles. Despite its popularity, I’ve avoided seeing the Broadway musical this film is based on because I consider the sole use of previously produced music to be a lazy cop out to wrap a narrative around. But in a cinematic structure, where covers of library music flourish, and with the talent attached, consider me reservedly pumped for this film.

Rembert Browne: Silver, you need to dig up that platinum blonde curly wig and mesh tank top that I know you have in a box labeled "Speedwagon" and go see this film with me.