One of Linsday Lohan's Dealers Tells All: After Lohan's Piers Morgan appearance "where she told the host that she has done cocaine maybe four or five times in my life" and that she's "never been a huge drinker," a man named David Joseph comes forth to debunk her lies. "I saw her take a bump more than that when she tested out my deliveries. It is another example of how much denial she is in." DJ, "as he is known in the drug-dealing world" that shadows Hollywood, admits he is "the last guy to have a conscience," but he wanted to set the record straight. He started selling to Lohan in 2009. "He'd get a text message with an address in Beverly Hills or a suite number at the Chateau Marmont, Hollywood Roosevelt or W Hotel. Her rooms were usually in a real state. There were room-service trays dumped everywhere, with plates on floors and furniture. Clothes would be scattered. There were often champagne and vodka bottles around, and someone was usually smoking weed. All the ashtrays were full of cigarette butts. Ninety percent of the time, Linsday would be drunk, says DJ, vodka her drink of choice." Damn, DJ. "Lindsay ordered blow and pills. Her favorite was Molly, MDMA, which was the extrapure pharmaceutical ecstasy. Lindsay always liked that before she went out to a club." Love you too, Lindsay.
"DJ estimates that despite her widely reported money issues, Lindsay spent at least $10,000 to $15,000 on drugs during the time he dealt to her, noting that the narcotics were not only for her but also for her ever-present crew. The texts would only stop in the rare instance Lindsay booked a job - or, more likely, landed in rehab or jail. As DJ watched Lindsay spiral out of control, he could envision the inevitable unhappy ending, causing him to start responding 'wrong number' to texts from his jonesing client. Lindsay wasn't monitoring what she was taking, and there were lots of enablers around, so I had to walk away. I feared she would do a line of coke after some pills and then be dead." Aren't you a drug dealer, though? "DJ's fears were not unfounded. The last time the world heard from him was in February 2012, when he revealed that he had sold cocaine to Whitney Houston hours prior to her death." Oh. "I had dealt to her, but it was actually the prescription meds that caused Whitney's death, and I worried Lindsay would go down the same path. I knew there was no return from where she was going and I had no control over what other drugs she was using. I am not in the business of helping people kill themselves." Jesus H. Christ. "DJ doubts the starlet will change her ways." I don't know if DJ is real or not, but this is so dark.
Kate Upton & Diddy: "This much is certain in the wake of reports that Sean 'Diddy' Combs and supermodel Kate Upton have engaged in at least one torrid make-out session — Diddy loves the ladies!" Diddy and Upton both denied the "alleged kissing encounter at the Miami club LIV." But insiders who were there say "that the two did indeed get together at the club at about 3 a.m. on March 24 — just a few days after Diddy temporarily broke up with his girlfriend, singer Cassie Ventura. Cassie and Diddy have split up so many times, and usually it's because he can't help his womanizing ways." Diddy Draper! Knock it off. "Cassie was not happy to read about Diddy and Kate together, says the friend, but Diddy argued that he and Cassie were estranged at the time of the incident. In fact, he told her that it was the fling with Kate that made him realize Cassie was the one for him." CLASSIC DIDDY DRAPER. "A second source contends that Diddy then asked Cassie to marry him, something he has reportedly done before, only to be rebuffed." Upton is embarrassed. "She doesn't want to be painted as some kind of homewrecker." Diddy "himself has admitted to having a soft spot for women." He told Cassie Kate Upton was his "final fling." These women are both way too hot for him.
Kim Kardashian Adjusts to Pregnancy: "Kim is well aware that she's famous for her amazing body and had no idea that pregnancy would change it so much." She probably thought she'd have a cute lil' pregnant belly, like her petite sister Kourtney did during her pregnancies. Kim has been "looking at old pictures of herself on her computer and phone for literally hours at a time, pining for her prepregnancy body. She is seriously melting down!" She's been posting even more photos of her old bod than usual for "Throwback Thursday" on her Instagram. A "celebrity weight coach and body expert" named Alicia Hunter says that Kim "looks like she's put on an insane amount of weight in such a short amount of time." She estimates that Kim has gained close to 70 pounds, instead of the 25-35 lbs. recommended. Kim knew that she would get bigger, but "she never expected such a drastic transformation so early on." Secretly she's "desperate to stop gaining so much weight" and it's making her depressed. "She cries every other day, and she's scared to see how big she'll get." While Kim is "grossed-out by her body, she's become obsessed with food." Her cravings take her to Pinkberry nearly every day. "She thinks it's healthy, but it's full of sugar." But, yogurt!
From Kirstie Alley oversharing about conspiring with George Wendt to snap a picture of Ted Danson's dick during the Cheers years to the revelation that Mel Gibson is dating Jennifer Aniston's body double, this year we learned more than we could have possibly ever wanted to about celebrities.
If you have even the faintest strain of geek in your past, then you've probably been party to the movie camp-out experience at least once in your life. You probably think you know what something called "Twilight Tent City" entails. You may even think that "Tent City" sounds a little dramatic for what is probably just a bunch of hygiene-averse, Snuggie-clad fangirls sitting on a sidewalk somewhere in tailgate chairs, living on Cheetos and granola bars for 48 hours.
And the denizens of Twilight Tent City would laugh in your face at how greatly you underestimate them.
Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel: "You could safely call him a groomzilla." Having gotten over his "inability to commit," Timberlake threw himself into planning the $6.5 million ceremony, renting an Italian resort for the wedding and flying guests in on chartered jets. "Justin planned a series of mini-celebrations leading up to the evening ceremony. Guests were treated to a seafood feast followed by a fireworks display on the beach the day they arrived." He chose Biel's "6-carat princess-cut engagement ring without consulting her" and "picked out Jess's gown from sketches. She trusts him." Well, that's her first mistake.
Christina Aguilera: Xtina "is still a boozing mess!" At Spago she "drank so much wine and champagne that she couldn't even walk to her car." Boyfriend Matt Rutler supported her on the way out to the car. "Christina loves to drink and has a problem with knowing when enough is enough. Matt has told Christina that she should slow down on the alcohol when they are at dinners, but she gets mad and tells him she'll do what she wants." She hates dieting and "lives off champagne and pasta. But she still believes she is healthy and doesn't think that she needs to work out." All she wants to do is drink her rosé!
US Justin Timberlake's Bachelor Party: "Bros, brews and bow ties!" Timberlake celebrated "his final days of singledom" with all his closest dudes. "Clad in ties and fedoras, his crew of 25 pals (and his dad!) hit Las Vegas, where they tossed back drinks poolside." Justin probably brought his dad so that we'd all know this was a clean-cut bachelor party where no hookers would end up buried in the desert by the end. "It was like Boardwalk Empire." So it was kind of boring but looked really nice and probably cost a ton of money? "It was mellow. Intentionally so." They jetted from Vegas to Mexico where they played beach volleyball in T-shirts that said "CASTRATION CELEBRATION!" Sigh … "He didn't want to get in any trouble. Jessica's brother was with them!" Could this be a decoy bachelor party meant to distract from the real bachelor party that will take place soon in a sex dungeon in Amsterdam?
Mitt Romney on Snooki: "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." She's voting for Obama.
Dina & Lindsay Lohan: Dina's weird Dr. Phil segment continues to ripple dark energy throughout the Lohaniverse. "Dina was obviously high on something. It's hard to tell whether it was drugs or alcohol. It's very inappropriate to go on a TV show in that state. She must have done it because she knew Dr. Phil was going to ask hard questions about her parenting." Or because she's just permanently slizzered. The episode, in which Dina "seemed intoxicated as she flailed her way through the interview" with Dr. Phil, "makes it clear that the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree." This is all just sad, and has been for a long time.
This spring, moviegoers had the chance to watch not one but two feature films updating the Snow White story for contemporary audiences. (That's in addition to Once Upon a Time, ABC's fairy tale drama series, revolving around Snow White, Prince Charming, and the daughter who doesn't know her parents are fairy tale royalty.) Tarsem Singh got to market first with Mirror Mirror, featuring Lily Collins as Snow White and Julia Roberts as her wicked stepmother. It was terrible. But at least it was first!
Snow White and the Huntsman arrived a few months later: It matched Mirror with another Oscar winner in the wicked stepmother (this time, Charlize Theron), and bested it with a much more famous Snow White in Twilight star Kristen Stewart. Since then, of course, we've all learned the scandalous Huntsman backstory: Stewart's affair with her director, Rupert Sanders, leading to the end of both Sanders's marriage and Stewart's long relationship with her Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson. So you can rent the movie on demand and decide whether you can see any evidence of Stewart's wandering eye, I guess? Or just wait for Once Upon a Time; Season 2 starts September 30. And it's free.
Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds: "With its 300-year-old moss-draped oak trees and stately, columned mansion, the Boone Hall Plantation & Gardens in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, is a favorite venue for couples tying the knot. But it wasn't just the charming post-and-rail fences and lush lawns that appealed to the couple saying 'I do' there September 9th."
Was it the historic slave quarters then? Boone Hall's website seriously boasts about the "eight original slave cabins" and the road in front of the plantation property is quaintly named "Slave Street." I personally find the whole idea of getting married at a Southern plantation totally tacky and repulsive on a soul level, but hey, I'm not Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.
Taylor Swift's Fatal Attraction: Her relationship with rising high school junior Conor Kennedy continues at warp speed. "Swift is certainly taking her one-and-a-half-month romance rather, well, swiftly. Since meeting the 18-year-old Kennedy in July, the six-time Grammy winner, 22, has rearranged her schedule to spend as much time with him as possible." Although the rumor that she bought a house across the street from the Kennedy compound has been debunked, she is still giving off some serious Stage 5 Clinger vibes. "Swift loves that her new guy (son of Robert Kennedy Jr. and the late Mary) gives her entrée to the storied political family. She says it's a fantasy come true. She's very smitten." Isn't she always, though? "Pals are concerned she's repeating a troubling relationship pattern," citing the insanely fast pace of her monthlong fling with Jake Gyllenhaal, which ended when he dumped her unceremoniously. "She's always rushing into love. We all wonder why she can't take it slow." Because she thinks fairy-tale, love-at-first-sight romances are real, and always decides that whomever she is dating at the moment is The One (regardless of what the dude might think). "For years, Swift has harbored a not-so-secret infatuation with Conor's iconic family. One insider says Conor's cousin Ted Kennedy Jr. even calls the crooner a Kennedy groupie!" Well maybe Conor Kennedy is a Taylor Swift groupie! And they're not groupies, they're Band-Aids! She started collecting Kennedy memorabilia last year, after reading The Kennedy Women. She met Rory Kennedy at a screening of a doc about Ethel Kennedy, and was invited to spend her Fourth of July at the compound in Hyannis Port. She and Conor Kennedy have been inseparable ever since, although that may change in the fall when he goes back to, uh, high school.
On Tuesday, The Hollywood Reporter wrote that Kristen Stewart would not be brought back for the planned sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman. Since Snow White was directed by her partner in infidelity, Rupert Sanders, and its sequel presumably would be as well, it seemed like everyone involved was avoiding another tabloid mess by not reuniting the dastardly duo. As to why the studio, Universal, wouldn't just drop Sanders instead, THR pointed out that K-Stew does require one big-ass salary, and that saving those bucks and instead focusing on her co-star/budding movie star/Thor, Chris Hemsworth, could be feasible. (Originally the plan was to make another flick focusing on Snow White, then shift gears for the third installment of the franchise by creating a spinoff for the Huntsman, played by Hemsworth.) THR explained that Universal was now skipping over that theoretical movie no. 2 and going straight to theoretical movie no. 3. But wait! Later in the day the L.A. Times followed up and got Universal to explain that Stewart hadn't been dropped from the sequel. Yes, the plan had now shifted to a spinoff for the Huntsman, but Stewart "could still be a character in that film, despite reports that suggested otherwise." Also: Sanders isn't yet booked for another go-around, although he is on the short list of directors.
"To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning if I did that. I wouldn't be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife." - Angelina Jolie on The Today Show, 2005
There is a fascinating story embedded within the Kristen Stewart scandal, and it's not the one about a 22-year-old cheating on her boyfriend with a middle-aged, married man. The latest word on the adulterous public relations bloodbath is that someone tipped off Us magazine about Stewart's affair with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. One pervasive rumor suggests the tip-seller may have been a private investigator Sanders's suspicious wife Liberty Ross hired to follow her husband. The tabloid in turn then assigned some paps to trail the errant lovers all the way to their now-immortal Santa Monica Mountains tryst. This means that Us worked and broke the Kristen Stewart cheating story as seriously and methodically as if it were Watergate or a case on The Wire.
Since Bill Simmons is gorging on crumpets, Chuck Klosterman guest hosts the B.S. Report and chats casually with Grantland writer Alex Pappademas. The conversation begins with an analysis of Robert Pattinson's wrecked romantic life and eventually touches on Jennifer Aniston, Total Recall, and the undocumented history of sports and culture in Gotham City.