Mimosa at a Bush
Mimosa at a Bush
While Emily is in space for the week visiting Leonardo DiCaprio on his voyage to the stars, Tess and Molly hold down the Hoodies homefront. Topics on the table include Behind The Candelabra, Steven Soderbergh's incredible Liberace biopic for HBO, which thrilled us with outrageous Vegas schmaltz, genuine emotion, Matt Damon's stank face, a tender Michael Douglas in a variety of rhinestone capes, and the world's best supporting cast of character actors. Also up for discussion; the sudden proliferation of Room 237-style Mad Men conspiracy theories. Is perennial coffee-offerer Bob Benson evil or just misunderstood? Plus speculation on Leonardo's cosmic journey, his transformation into Jack Nicholson, and whether letting a fan on your rocket will just lead to Misery in space.
It's easy to prepare for most of what goes on at this festival. You know that at some point you'll nearly be run over by any of the official black sedans that could be dropping off Emma Watson then heading off to Transporter 7. You know you'll wind up trapped watching a three-hour talkathon that's two hours too long. You know you'll want to marry a movie that all your friends think is totally wrong for you, which means it's really just wrong for them. These are things you can anticipate. But even though you manage to pack two-dozen Balance bars, six neckties you won't wear, and a lint brush, even though there's this service called the weather report, what you never quite see coming is rain. It's so sunny here so often that it just never occurs to you to pack protection. This is how you end up borrowing a plaid hotel umbrella that has nothing to do with the tuxedo you're wearing — not even your socks.
You've read Molly Lambert's account of the friendship and rivalry between Hollywood's original bros. Now decide for yourself if you're on Team Leo or Team Tobey, as the Grantland staff recount some of the highlights of their respective careers.
It sounds like the plot of a science fiction movie: Two boys are selected to enter into the same profession as youths, climb their way up the ranks as friends, and compete against each other for the best jobs as men. They make a series of choices, some dictated by fate and others by chance, that ultimately make them very different from each other as adults. They remain best friends throughout it all, each one sometimes secretly wondering what his life would have been like if he had been born the other. That dystopian future scenario is more or less the story of Leonardo DiCaprio (born in Hollywood, 1974) and Tobey Maguire (Santa Monica, 1975), the longterm BFFs who are starring in Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby as the iconic pair of toxic BFFs.
Maguire and DiCaprio met hustling the L.A. audition circuit for the same child actor parts. Both had been working sporadically in TV and film. Maguire had done guest shots on the '80s Twilight Zone reboot, Blossom, and Roseanne. DiCaprio logged two episodes on The New Lassie, playing the role of "Glen," which was also played by Robin Thicke. Leo also did an episode of Roseanne and played "Young Mason Capwell" on the soap opera Santa Barbara. Both kids came from divorced parents and had bounced around lots of shitty apartment complexes. As child actors, they found a way to generate their own income at an age where most professions wouldn't legally be allowed to hire them.
Like Brad Pitt's propensity to keep his hands busy with snacks, Leonardo DiCaprio's tendency toward screeching rage wasn't a thing we'd really noticed until the Internet identified the tic. But now we will never look at Leo's boyishly handsome face again without bracing ourselves for the scream that could arrive at any moment, piercing our ears and puckering our various orifices. It is the sound of an outraged teenage eagle protesting an unfair grounding by its unfeeling parents, and it is a thing we can never unhear. This HuffPo supercut guarantees that.
Well, this is nuts: THR is reporting the United States Attorney in Manhattan has brought charges against 34 individuals tied up in Russian-American criminal organizations that partly facilitated secret gambling rooms catering to big Hollywood names like Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio. Teddy KGB lives!
If some of this sounds familiar, that's because details of the operations were partially revealed in 2011, when hedge fund manager Bradley Ruderman was arrested after losing $25 million of his clients' money — much of it, he alleged, lost playing high-stakes poker with fancy celebs in these secret backroom games. (Afterward, a trustee attempted to recoup the losses via some of the stars Ruderman lost big hands to, namely Tobey freakin' Maguire.) Now, the legal ax is falling on those who set up the games.
THE BEST AND WORST LOVERS IN HOLLYWOOD:
Kate Winslet & Ned Rocknroll: Kate Winslet married Ned Rocknroll, a.k.a. Richard Branson's nephew with the incredibly dumb (self-chosen) name. "Call her Mrs. Rocknroll!" I will but I won't like it! The couple of a year wed before "a small group of friends and family." Perennial bachelor Leonardo DiCaprio "walked the bride down the aisle" and shattered/stoked the dreams of a trillion Titanic fangirls. Ned is "really attracted to her mind. She's mature, and he feels he can learn so much from her. It's sexy!" Is it just me or does that sound a little bit like shade? Oh, well, wishing all the best to the Rocknrolls.
Christina Aguilera: Xtina "is still a boozing mess!" At Spago she "drank so much wine and champagne that she couldn't even walk to her car." Boyfriend Matt Rutler supported her on the way out to the car. "Christina loves to drink and has a problem with knowing when enough is enough. Matt has told Christina that she should slow down on the alcohol when they are at dinners, but she gets mad and tells him she'll do what she wants." She hates dieting and "lives off champagne and pasta. But she still believes she is healthy and doesn't think that she needs to work out." All she wants to do is drink her rosÚ!
Lindsay Lohan Banned From Chateau Marmont: What did it take to get the infamous party girl finally blacklisted from her favorite haunt, a place famous for putting up with partying? A ridiculous unpaid bill for $46,350 from a "47-day stay in June and July (she racked up $686 on cigarettes alone!)" during the filming of Liz & Dick. Lohan claims that she "thought her movie's producers were paying." Of course she did.
Now that Prometheus has come and gone, if we're being honest — and really, what incentive could we possibly have to lie to you about it? — there is not a single upcoming movie that we're more excited about than Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained. Not the final Nolanized Batman, not The Master, not even Magic Mike 2: Dallas Does Miami, which by the time you read these words will have been green-lighted, added The Rock (Hollywood's designated franchise-thief) and Taylor Kitsch (desperate to learn something about career development from breakout foil Channing Tatum) to its ensemble, and taken the Boogie Nights–style turn we kept waiting for in the weekend's first installment. But we digress.
Chris Brown/Rihanna/Drake: "Chris Brown was soaking in the revelry" at W.I.P. with his girlfriend Karrueche Tran. He "sent a bottle of Ace of Spades champagne to Drake," who sent it it back with a note reading "I am fucking the love of your life." Thus began a bottle fight, which ended with Brown's cutting his chin and Tony Parker scratching his cornea. "They tore the club apart" and started "a bloody melee" fighting about Rihanna, who is on her Cleopatra shit. She even got a new ankle tattoo of an Egyptian falcon shaped like a gun. Rihanna heard about it and "was cracking up. Men fighting over her? Please. She loves the drama!" A friend of Brown's says, "These guys are fighting over Rihanna. She is the dude in this sitch and they are acting like girls." Yes, because men never have petty catfights (LOL).
Kim K and Kanye: The couple went to Cannes together and "caught up, wandering the streets until 7 A.M., cherishing quiet time before the inevitable flashbulb frenzy at that evening premiere of West's short film, Cruel Summer." Fighting the rumors that their relationship is just a publicity stunt, friends say they "are the real deal." Kanye is "playing for keeps. He waited for Kim. He knows they're meant to be." She comforted his anxiety over the response to his film, while "he kept brushing her cheek and kissing her." While Kanye has gotten Kim to dress "more chic, with his advice," Kim's effect is that she's "making him gentler. He isn't so intense now." Why hate? They're perfect for each other.
Sean Penn: "I am constantly embarrassed by my own personality."
Kelly Ripa: "Going to Fiji is not marriage. Going to Costco is marriage."
James Franco's Commencement Speech: "Spread your eggs. Don't like eggs? Too bad."
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis: "Friends with benefits?" Kelso and Jackie "took a mini-vacation together" to Carpinteria. They stopped at a roadside stand where "Mila bought sunflowers and blueberries," then had sushi for lunch. "They hadn't seen each other for years" but got back in touch during a That 70's Show reunion segment for Fox's 25th anniversary special. "He's so not her type." And as for Ashton's famous wandering eye? "Mila wouldn't stand for that kind of stuff. She's a strong, smart girl."