Mark and Donnie Wahlberg and their brother Paul own a restaurant in Hingham, Massachusetts, called Wahlburgers. It's enough to just know that; we can all die happy and hungry. But because that's not enough — because we need to die happy, hungry, and with a reality show about every remotely interesting thing — A&E has commissioned an unscripted series called Wahlburgers, where the whole family will be shown running the business. Fun aside: Wahlburger was the name kids would use to tease Donnie as a youngster. "We got the last laugh and opened a burger joint with the name and it's doing great," Donnie told Arsenio recently.
Look, Triads, we get it. Really, we do. You are an internationally renowned criminal organization. You've struck fear into the hearts of men from Shanghai to Macau to Vice City. Your tales are bloody, ruthless, unspeakable; your name is legend. But there's one thing we need to get straight. You guys (at least you guys in Hong Kong) need to stop trying to extort Michael Bay on the set of Transformers: Age of Extinction. Not because it's not, theoretically, a good idea: Michael Bay surely has many beautiful, priceless baubles on his person at all times. No, the reason you need to stop is because it's never going to happen. After felling your air-conditioned-unit-fueled extortion attack once, the Bayonator has now done it again. As THR reports, "Hong Kong police are holding a suspected Triad gang member on suspicion of attempting to extort money from the crew on the set of Transformers: Age of Extinction, the second attempt in five days to blackmail the Paramount Pictures crew during filming in Hong Kong."
Just in case you haven't kept up with every last hiccup on the road to the Entourage movie, here's a quick breakdown of the last few days. First, Mark Wahlberg, being so extremely and wonderfully Mark Wahlberg–y, basically said the thing would happen when some mf'ers stopped being so greedy.
To all Entourage fans. I owe it to you to make a couple things clear. I take my role as Vince on the show & off very seriously. All decisions I make personally & for business are for the principle of friendship and brotherhood. It has, & never will be about the money for me. I promise. I will always stand up for the boys (that includes you) & do what I can to make sure they are treated fairly, and not be taken advantage of by anybody. The spirit of Entourage is about sharing the opportunities given to us and I will sign any deal that gives ALL the boys an opportunity to share in the upside of success EQUALLY. I assure you, despite the perception, there is no greed in my heart. Remember, it will all work out in the end. It always does. ------ I will try to answer questions with hashtag #entourageboysshare
Yes. #entourageboysshare. Please keep refreshing. To be safe, do so every three to five minutes.
Sick of steroids scandals in sports? Well, welcome to the next chapter: steroids scandals in Hollywood! Doing the work of kings, THR finally delves into the issue of actors pumping HGH — what is apparently "the new worst-kept secret in showbiz, the 'no duh' cousin of Botox and Restylane."
OK: first, some facts. Costs of HGH can go up to $3,000 per month, which seems like a piddling sum for the up-and-comer trying to get ahead, abs first. (Also: "Taken along with steroids [$50 to $150 per month], to help build muscle, the results can be startling.") And it's easy to get. According to Hollywood trainer Happy Hill, "You can walk into any old-school gym like Gold's in Venice Beach and get a hookup." (Presumably, of course, you get your peons to do that part for you.) Oh, also, good news! According to USC professor Todd Schroeder, "If it's for a short period of time, if they're doing it two or three months to help them get to a certain point, then it's fairly safe." And, finally, the hard stats (that come to us directly from a grown man named Happy): "Hill estimates that some 20 percent of actors use PEDs to bulk up and define."
This much is undeniable: Mark Wahlberg is an American hero. Through brawn and grit and might and groin, he has, again and again, quashed the evil forces that surround us. (One time, also, he swore he'd have single-handedly prevented 9/11, and that, in the annals of theoretical heroism, maybe wasn't such a good idea. But let's just go ahead and ignore that). So, could he ever take his heroism into the realm of the super? As long as no tights are involved, Wahlberg says "Hell. Yeah."
In an interview with Yahoo UK to promote 2 Guns (it hasn't opened over there yet. So, yes, those poor British bastards haven't gotten to see 2 Guns yet), Wahlberg lets a few things fly. Most importantly: "I would like to take over the Iron Man franchise for Robert Downey ... [but] it's one of those things where I kind of like playing real people, [so] I’ve never been asked." Mark's already taking over for Shia LaBeouf in the Transformers franchise — why not set his replacement-game sights a little higher? Never mind that the $50 million man isn't going anywhere anytime soon. When that far-off day does comes, and RDJ puts down his rusted tin mask, Mark Wahlberg will be ready to go. Because Mark Wahlberg is forever.
As Wesley Morris writes, it was evident that Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg weren't overly concerned with their well-compensated performances in their new action romp 2 Guns. At one point, after a particularly strenuous sequence that you'd expect would be followed up with some kind of gruff bad-ass one-liner, "Wahlberg goes in the opposite direction. He smiles. It's the smile some people have after they leave a massage or finish waxing their car. It's the smile of an actor who's reclining on a movie-star beach towel. Wahlberg all but walks around the film with a paper umbrella behind one of his ears." And, well, it turns out he was right to grin. This weekend, 2 Guns was too … good … too … be … denied (I am so, so sorry), crushing the competition with $27.4 million and taking the no. 1 spot.
Beards have never been more popular. Don't believe us? Ask the decimated razor industry, whose warehouses are overflowing with unshipped crates of 10-blade UltiProGlide X replacement cartridges with curdling LubriStrips that will never cut a Barbisol-slicked swath across a defiantly hirsute nation's stubble-riddled faces. Exposed cheeks are becoming as socially unthinkable as exposed genitalia; decency demands you cover that rosy shit up with the protective fur nature gave you, yo. Beard up or beard out.
This current Peak Beard moment has never been more apparent than in the just-released trailer for Peter Berg's Lone Survivor, the inspired-by-true-events story of a tragic Navy SEAL mission in Afghanistan, starring Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, and Eric Bana. How did the project attract such A-list talent? Surely they jumped at these roles not just to portray the brave men of SEAL Team 10, but to rebel against a Hollywood system that too often demands they be as aesthetically emasculated as those shivering, hairless cats they bury with pharaohs. This was the perfect opportunity to let it all grow out and see what happens.
As you may already know, unfairly handsome Hollywood actors are disgustingly, insanely, dirty-stinking-filthy rich. Still, though, you have questions: Which unfairly handsome Hollywood actors? And how disgustingly, insanely, dirty-stinking-filthy rich? Thanks to the good people at Forbes, we've got answers!
The magazine went ahead and crunched the numbers, putting together a top 10 of dudes — and, yes, troublingly, they are all men — who've collected the most American currency over the last 12 months. And your top dog is … Robert Downey Jr.! Tony Stark continues his amazing career-arc reversal, from über-talented what-could-have-been-a-cautionary-tale to dude-with-enough-money-to-fund-the-building-of-skyscrapers-that-look-like-spaceships-in-Dubai. That he's done it all while maintaining that baseline rakish charm is all the more commendable. When a guy makes $75 million — $75 million — in one year, there's supposed to be backlash. But in 2013, we're all just grateful RDJ is around to make our blockbusters watchable. Bless you, Robert. And for your efforts, I will now PayPal you an additional $17. In the words of Mr. Ciara, you deserve it.
Music news for Monday: The CMT Awards nominations are in; Tan Mom drops some bronze beats into your reluctant ears (sample lyric: "It's Tan Mom, bitch / Are you ready? It's Patricia, bitch / [...] I want you to back away / get away from me every day"); Queens of the Stone Age join the rabbit hole video phenomenon; Simon Cowell gives up on celebrity judges; and, most importantly, Liam Gallagher was almost murdered by a blue peanut M&M and now carries an EpiPen ("I've got to carry a syringe about with me in case of emergencies. Proper Pete Doherty gear").
Well, this is certainly a surprise. THR reports that Dwayne Johnson is cashing in on his hard-earned box-office cred and nailing down a flashy HBO show with all kinds of big names involved. We're talking Peter Berg as director, Mark Wahlberg as producer, and, for better or worse, Entourage’s Stephen Levinson on script duties (but not as showrunner — the search for that is still on). It's a half-hour dramedy that'll take Johnson back to Miami, where he last sojourned, with Wahlberg and Michael Bay, for Pain & Gain. And all we know right now is that it's about "the lives of retired athletes."
Like everyone else on the Internet, Wesley and Alex wanted Michael Bay's Pain & Gain — his first film without Decepticons in a while — to be amazing. And it's amazing. But is it good? Is it funny? What does Michael Bay want from us? What does Michael Bay want from Michael Bay? And is there a Chekhov rule about introducing a warehouse full of sex toys in the first act? All this plus a defense of The Island! Get pumped.
The Miami Heat's epic winning streak may have ended, but the Florida Gulf Coast University Eagles are the NCAA tournament's Cinderella story and Spring Breakers is a surprise hit. Here are five more reasons why Florida is the nation's current cultural capital.
1. Electronic Dance Music & Trap Rap
The EDM bubble has yet to burst (or um, drop), and while we may look back at this era one day with all the head-shaking fondness now reserved for hair metal, right now is a good time to be an arena rave DJ or electronic musician in Florida. Particularly this month, when the annual Winter Music Conference is held in Miami in tandem with the electrocentric Ultra Music Festival. Diplo, who set out to be a world-famous DJ like Paul Oakenfold as a goof and ended up succeeding, also as a goof (Paul Jokenfold), titled his debut full-length album Florida in homage to the state he spent some years growing up in. Also inescapable: Carol City native Rick Ross's lumbering trap rap, heard blasting in bottle service clubs and out of hulking cars, most recently encouraging you to slip Molly in your date's drink and date-rape her.
The Germans probably have a word for that feeling you experience when something you believed to be perfect is proven imperfect by the subsequent revelation of a seemingly more-perfect thing. Anyway: Whatever that word is, you're about to be crushed by it, because a red-band trailer for Pain and Gain has arrived, and it has obliterated the now-tainted memory of the mere appetizer Michael Bay served us back in December. (Remember how excited we all got? Seems silly now.)