I bought Teflon Don. I can’t fully remember why, but after a full year of listening to my illegally downloaded copy of Rick Ross’s amazing fourth album, I drove to a record store, walked inside, interacted with an employee, and then purchased the album in compact disc form.

I wanted it because I was home in Atlanta, meaning it was one of the few times a year I would be behind the wheel of a car. I missed the experience of rolling down all four windows in my mother’s silver Volvo, driving north on I-75 into the city, and blasting music as loud as I could physically tolerate — and then turning it up a little more. On that summer day in 2011, nothing could make me happier than listening to “BMF” while driving under the spot where the “BMF” billboard used to sit and terrorize northbound commuters.

But I had the album on my iPod, and had a tape adapter, so this dream could still come true without purchasing the album. But I missed the feeling of putting an album into a six-CD changer and letting it run in its entirety. Yes, I could have achieved this by simply spending five minutes burning the album on a blank CD-R, but at that moment, I was unsure if there were any at home, and a pack of 25 blank CDs cost as much, if not more, than purchasing the album.

So I bought it.

From outside the VIP section of Sin City Cabaret — “New York’s largest upscale gentleman’s bar” — all you can see is a gaggle of sweaty people, the blinding lights of HD cameras, and, every 45 seconds or so, a big poof of cash floating softly down from above. We’re here because Rick Ross is here: Last night, he assembled his Maybach Music Group for what was ostensibly a listening party for their new album, Self Made Vol. 2, although that part got a bit buried underneath all the stripping and whatnot. The party featured MMG’s Wale, Stalley, and Meek Mill, of course, alongside the likes of DJ Khaled and Drake — who’d go on to have quite an eventful night; more on that later — and came only a month after Ross’s instantly legendary MMG press conference. (That was the one where Diddy explained that every time he hears the Australian girl say, "I like this Maybach Music," his dick gets hard.) For better or worse, as long as Ross stays on this ridiculous promo event roll, Grantland will have no choice but to continue to provide coverage.