Zach Galifianakis explained to Conan O'Brien last night why he quit drinking (besides the benefits of a two-ounce weight loss). Crossing the street after a whiskey-soaked evening, Galifianakis made the mistake of clocking the hood of a Jaguar containing "two 6-foot-6 guys — 12-by-12," angering them enough that they exited their vehicle to spit in the comedian's face ("I don't know if you've ever been spit in your face non-sexually"). The beer bottle ZG threw at the retreating car in retaliation missed, fortunately, but he did not thank the whiskey for that. Rude.
It's impossible to select the best excerpts from the batshit-crazy e-mail of mass destruction sent by a member of the University of Maryland's Delta Gamma chapter to the rest of its members. "C---- punt" is a good place to start, but there's so much more. Delta Gamma's president asked for "assistance" from Gawker in removing the sorority's name from its piece; obviously, it seems like they're out of luck there. DG's Facebook page has some pretty interesting comments going on under a damage-control status update ("You ladies are a hoot"), and rumors as to the identity of the author have started to percolate. I'm not linking to the rumors, though. Who am I, CNN? Google away.
The Veronica Mars effect: Pushing Daisies's Bryan Fuller and Zachary Levi of Chuck are hmmm-ing about Kickstarting movie projects based on VM's recent success. Joss Whedon, on the other hand, is kinda bizzay: "I'm booked up by Marvel for the next three years, and [...] I haven't even been able to get Dr. Horrible 2 off the ground because of that. So I don't even entertain the notion of entertaining the notion of doing this, and won't. Couple years from now, when Nathan [Fillion]'s no longer [on] Castle and I'm no longer the Tom Hagen of the Marvel Universe and making a giant movie, we might look and see where the market is then. But right now, it's a complete non-Kickstarter for me."
Silver: Item no. 17 in my work in progress, Guidelines to Successful Movie Consumption: Theatrical Edition, reads as follows:
“Relatively unheard of, quaint-feeling, and seemingly silly science fiction films should never be disregarded outright. That said, they can, more often than not, be accurately judged by their trailers. Don’t let a solid cast fool you. Look specifically to see if the high-concept conceit appears to live organically in or get swallowed up by overly stylized visuals. Sometimes you’ll find yourself pleasantly surprised with a film like Equilibrium. But more often than not you’re going to be sitting through a film like Ultraviolet or Paycheck. So look at the trailer carefully.”
With this in mind, Upside Down’s trailer leads me to believe this film is going to be a disaster. The visuals are trying way too hard to make up for a story device that would have been better suited for a short film. And even though I like both Jim Sturgess and Mary Jane Watson; they’re simply not enough to get me into a theater. Pass.
Browne: I really prefer movies that don't have half the characters walking on the ceiling for two hours. Beyond the plot, this just seems like an unpleasant viewing experience, unless somehow I can lie on my side at the theaters, which usually isn't a thing.
Jeremy Renner is attached to King of Heists, an adaptation of J. North Conway's nonfiction book about an 1878 New York City bank robbery in which a man named George Leslie came to town pretending to be an upscale gentleman while assembling a crew that eventually pulled $3 million from the Manhattan Savings Institution. This all sounds totally great, and that’s before considering the project’s potential for old-timey moustaches. Grade: A [Deadline]
Simon Cowell is actively trying to sell Red or Black?, a game show produced by his company Syco that premiered in the UK earlier this month, to US networks, and a sale might happen in the next few weeks. While there are other contrivances built in, the show is apparently more or less televised roulette. So good news for our very own game-show pitch, a televised version of "Guess which number I'm thinking of." Grade: D [Vulture]