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YOUTUBE HALL OF FAME

YouTube Hall of Fame: The Worst Music Videos of All Time

By Grantland Staff at

In stores this week is I Want My MTV: The Uncensored Story of the Music Video Revolution, Craig Marks and Rob Tannenbaum's excellent new oral history on the golden age of Music Television. In the book, Billy Squier's career-killing "Rock Me Tonite" clip is cited as the worst video of all time. Below, Tannenbaum explains why, and the Grantland staff remembers 10 other videos that were almost as bad.

Billy Squier, "Rock Me Tonite"

Rob Tannenbaum:I Want My MTV includes interviews with more than 400 people, and no two agreed on the best music video of all time. The options are too disparate: Do you prefer the physical comedy of “Hot For Teacher,” the unknowable symbolism of “Let’s Dance,” the dynamic grace of “Beat It,” or the demented junior-year-abroad absurdity of ”Total Eclipse of the Heart”? But when we asked about the worst music video, there was one unanimous answer: Billy Squier’s “Rock Me Tonite.”

Squier’s 1984 video gets an entire chapter in I Want My MTV because it’s an MBA case study in How To Make A Bad Artistic Decision. When Squier’s manager saw the video, he told us, “I was speechless.” When Squier’s label saw it, an executive said, “The immediate consensus was that Billy’s performance was disturbingly effeminate.” Squier, who sat in my living room for three hours to recount the event in detail, said, “When I saw the video, my jaw dropped. It was diabolical.” Squier also said the video snuffed out his career, after two huge-selling albums. “How can a four-minute video do that? OK, it sucked. So?”

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GRANTLAND NETWORK

Grantland Network: Chuck Klosterman and the MTV Oral History Guys

MTV Book Cover
Courtesy of Dutton Adult

Rob Tannenbaum and Craig Marks have their oral history I Want My MTV: The Uncensored Story of the Music Video Revolution coming later this month — and since the entire Grantland staff is obsessed with the book, we asked Chuck Klosterman to visit with them to talk about the history of the music video giant. As a bonus, Craig agreed to answer a few idiotic questions from us below.

1. What's the most important video that MTV ever aired?
You could make the case for either of two Michael Jackson videos: "Billie Jean" or "Thriller," both from 1983. From its launch, MTV staunchly followed the programming strictures of a rock (read: white) radio station. They'd aired a few videos by black artists before "Billie Jean," but only barely — outlier rock artists such as Musical Youth, Eddy Grant and the Bus Boys. Michael was the first "urban" artist MTV ever played, and, according to execs at his label, CBS Records, MTV did so only under severe duress. Of course, "Billie Jean" was a runaway hit, followed by an ever bigger hit — "Beat It" — followed by the biggest video hit of all time, "Thriller," which MTV literally played every hour on the hour and changed the course of the network's history and the history of music video.

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