One of Linsday Lohan's Dealers Tells All: After Lohan's Piers Morgan appearance "where she told the host that she has done cocaine maybe four or five times in my life" and that she's "never been a huge drinker," a man named David Joseph comes forth to debunk her lies. "I saw her take a bump more than that when she tested out my deliveries. It is another example of how much denial she is in." DJ, "as he is known in the drug-dealing world" that shadows Hollywood, admits he is "the last guy to have a conscience," but he wanted to set the record straight. He started selling to Lohan in 2009. "He'd get a text message with an address in Beverly Hills or a suite number at the Chateau Marmont, Hollywood Roosevelt or W Hotel. Her rooms were usually in a real state. There were room-service trays dumped everywhere, with plates on floors and furniture. Clothes would be scattered. There were often champagne and vodka bottles around, and someone was usually smoking weed. All the ashtrays were full of cigarette butts. Ninety percent of the time, Linsday would be drunk, says DJ, vodka her drink of choice." Damn, DJ. "Lindsay ordered blow and pills. Her favorite was Molly, MDMA, which was the extrapure pharmaceutical ecstasy. Lindsay always liked that before she went out to a club." Love you too, Lindsay.
"DJ estimates that despite her widely reported money issues, Lindsay spent at least $10,000 to $15,000 on drugs during the time he dealt to her, noting that the narcotics were not only for her but also for her ever-present crew. The texts would only stop in the rare instance Lindsay booked a job - or, more likely, landed in rehab or jail. As DJ watched Lindsay spiral out of control, he could envision the inevitable unhappy ending, causing him to start responding 'wrong number' to texts from his jonesing client. Lindsay wasn't monitoring what she was taking, and there were lots of enablers around, so I had to walk away. I feared she would do a line of coke after some pills and then be dead." Aren't you a drug dealer, though? "DJ's fears were not unfounded. The last time the world heard from him was in February 2012, when he revealed that he had sold cocaine to Whitney Houston hours prior to her death." Oh. "I had dealt to her, but it was actually the prescription meds that caused Whitney's death, and I worried Lindsay would go down the same path. I knew there was no return from where she was going and I had no control over what other drugs she was using. I am not in the business of helping people kill themselves." Jesus H. Christ. "DJ doubts the starlet will change her ways." I don't know if DJ is real or not, but this is so dark.
Kate Upton & Diddy: "This much is certain in the wake of reports that Sean 'Diddy' Combs and supermodel Kate Upton have engaged in at least one torrid make-out session — Diddy loves the ladies!" Diddy and Upton both denied the "alleged kissing encounter at the Miami club LIV." But insiders who were there say "that the two did indeed get together at the club at about 3 a.m. on March 24 — just a few days after Diddy temporarily broke up with his girlfriend, singer Cassie Ventura. Cassie and Diddy have split up so many times, and usually it's because he can't help his womanizing ways." Diddy Draper! Knock it off. "Cassie was not happy to read about Diddy and Kate together, says the friend, but Diddy argued that he and Cassie were estranged at the time of the incident. In fact, he told her that it was the fling with Kate that made him realize Cassie was the one for him." CLASSIC DIDDY DRAPER. "A second source contends that Diddy then asked Cassie to marry him, something he has reportedly done before, only to be rebuffed." Upton is embarrassed. "She doesn't want to be painted as some kind of homewrecker." Diddy "himself has admitted to having a soft spot for women." He told Cassie Kate Upton was his "final fling." These women are both way too hot for him.
Angelina Jolie is "Surprise! Boring in bed." Whaaaaaa? This alleged information comes from shade thrown by her ex, Billy Bob Thornton, who has said, "sometimes, with the model, the actress, the 'sexiest person in the world,' it may be literally like fucking the couch." FUCK YO COUCH, BILLY BOB!
From Kirstie Alley oversharing about conspiring with George Wendt to snap a picture of Ted Danson's dick during the Cheers years to the revelation that Mel Gibson is dating Jennifer Aniston's body double, this year we learned more than we could have possibly ever wanted to about celebrities.
Kate Middleton Is Pregnant: "Royal-watchers all around the globe had been on tenterhooks for months." THAT SOUNDS UNCOMFORTABLE. "At long last, Will and Kate are expecting a little prince or princess!" While they were hoping to keep the story under wraps until Kate was 12 weeks along, and release the news on Christmas Day, it came out early when Middleton was admitted to a hospital for morning sickness. Nevertheless, "William and Kate are elated." They started trying in September, "once their Malaria medication has run its course" after their "royal tour of Southeast Asia." The holy "VIP baby leapfrogs Harry to become third in line for the throne behind William and his father." A nursery "is in the early stages" as the couple continue with their move into Kensington Palace. Get ready to hear all about the future royal baby for months from weirdo superfans.
If you have even the faintest strain of geek in your past, then you've probably been party to the movie camp-out experience at least once in your life. You probably think you know what something called "Twilight Tent City" entails. You may even think that "Tent City" sounds a little dramatic for what is probably just a bunch of hygiene-averse, Snuggie-clad fangirls sitting on a sidewalk somewhere in tailgate chairs, living on Cheetos and granola bars for 48 hours.
And the denizens of Twilight Tent City would laugh in your face at how greatly you underestimate them.
John Mayer & Katy Perry & Adam Levine: Katy Perry went to Adam Levine's annual Halloween party and the two were flirting nonstop. "Adam was touching and hugging Katy affectionately while they did shots together for a half hour, even though his girlfriend model Behati Prinsloo was at the party too. It was kind of uncomfortable." Perry is show-business buddies with Levine, who is also BFF with Katy's rumored beau, John Mayer. Mayer once dated Jessica Simpson, whom Levine was once said to have tooted and booted.
"Adam texted Jess that he 'needed space.'" WHAT? "Then he avoided her calls. She phoned him several times, but he didn't answer." While Katy and Adam's flirtation is probably innocent, there's no doubt that she knows a potential fling with Levine is her ace in the hole should John Mayer's wandering eye and life-ruining dick get the best of John and Katy's relationship.
Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel: "You could safely call him a groomzilla." Having gotten over his "inability to commit," Timberlake threw himself into planning the $6.5 million ceremony, renting an Italian resort for the wedding and flying guests in on chartered jets. "Justin planned a series of mini-celebrations leading up to the evening ceremony. Guests were treated to a seafood feast followed by a fireworks display on the beach the day they arrived." He chose Biel's "6-carat princess-cut engagement ring without consulting her" and "picked out Jess's gown from sketches. She trusts him." Well, that's her first mistake.
Christina Aguilera: Xtina "is still a boozing mess!" At Spago she "drank so much wine and champagne that she couldn't even walk to her car." Boyfriend Matt Rutler supported her on the way out to the car. "Christina loves to drink and has a problem with knowing when enough is enough. Matt has told Christina that she should slow down on the alcohol when they are at dinners, but she gets mad and tells him she'll do what she wants." She hates dieting and "lives off champagne and pasta. But she still believes she is healthy and doesn't think that she needs to work out." All she wants to do is drink her rosÚ!
US Justin Timberlake's Bachelor Party: "Bros, brews and bow ties!" Timberlake celebrated "his final days of singledom" with all his closest dudes. "Clad in ties and fedoras, his crew of 25 pals (and his dad!) hit Las Vegas, where they tossed back drinks poolside." Justin probably brought his dad so that we'd all know this was a clean-cut bachelor party where no hookers would end up buried in the desert by the end. "It was like Boardwalk Empire." So it was kind of boring but looked really nice and probably cost a ton of money? "It was mellow. Intentionally so." They jetted from Vegas to Mexico where they played beach volleyball in T-shirts that said "CASTRATION CELEBRATION!" Sigh … "He didn't want to get in any trouble. Jessica's brother was with them!" Could this be a decoy bachelor party meant to distract from the real bachelor party that will take place soon in a sex dungeon in Amsterdam?
Mitt Romney on Snooki: "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." She's voting for Obama.
Dina & Lindsay Lohan: Dina's weird Dr. Phil segment continues to ripple dark energy throughout the Lohaniverse. "Dina was obviously high on something. It's hard to tell whether it was drugs or alcohol. It's very inappropriate to go on a TV show in that state. She must have done it because she knew Dr. Phil was going to ask hard questions about her parenting." Or because she's just permanently slizzered. The episode, in which Dina "seemed intoxicated as she flailed her way through the interview" with Dr. Phil, "makes it clear that the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree." This is all just sad, and has been for a long time.
Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds: "With its 300-year-old moss-draped oak trees and stately, columned mansion, the Boone Hall Plantation & Gardens in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, is a favorite venue for couples tying the knot. But it wasn't just the charming post-and-rail fences and lush lawns that appealed to the couple saying 'I do' there September 9th."
Was it the historic slave quarters then? Boone Hall's website seriously boasts about the "eight original slave cabins" and the road in front of the plantation property is quaintly named "Slave Street." I personally find the whole idea of getting married at a Southern plantation totally tacky and repulsive on a soul level, but hey, I'm not Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.
On Tuesday, The Hollywood Reporter wrote that Kristen Stewart would not be brought back for the planned sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman. Since Snow White was directed by her partner in infidelity, Rupert Sanders, and its sequel presumably would be as well, it seemed like everyone involved was avoiding another tabloid mess by not reuniting the dastardly duo. As to why the studio, Universal, wouldn't just drop Sanders instead, THR pointed out that K-Stew does require one big-ass salary, and that saving those bucks and instead focusing on her co-star/budding movie star/Thor, Chris Hemsworth, could be feasible. (Originally the plan was to make another flick focusing on Snow White, then shift gears for the third installment of the franchise by creating a spinoff for the Huntsman, played by Hemsworth.) THR explained that Universal was now skipping over that theoretical movie no. 2 and going straight to theoretical movie no. 3. But wait! Later in the day the L.A. Times followed up and got Universal to explain that Stewart hadn't been dropped from the sequel. Yes, the plan had now shifted to a spinoff for the Huntsman, but Stewart "could still be a character in that film, despite reports that suggested otherwise." Also: Sanders isn't yet booked for another go-around, although he is on the short list of directors.
Say this about young Robert Pattinson: Even a major tabloid scandal can't prevent him from promoting the artsy indie movie he made to prove he isn't just a Twilightsparkly chest! Last night, Pattinson emerged from what had been described as self-imposed exile to tape The Daily Show and plug Cosmopolis, the David Cronenberg–directed Don DeLillo adaptation he stars in.
John Mayer & Katy Perry: At a party in the Hollywood Hills a "bikini-clad Katy Perry" chilled out, "grabbed a beer and clung tightly to John Mayer in the swimming pool. They hugged each other and splashed around. They were all over each other, making out! Neither of them is exactly shy." The pair are not only hooking up, they are "officially dating," hence the lack of trying to hide it, or maybe they just realized they wouldn't be able to avoid being outed by paparazzi right quick. Whatever. Katy girl, get your roots-rock divorce rebound hump on. Just do us a big favor and tell John Mayer to stop wearing that Rolling Thunder Revue hat everywhere. We get the whole hipster Americana thing already. While Mayer has a reputation as a manipulatively romantic womanizer incapable of keeping his mouth shut or his pants on, the 34-year-old guitarist claims he has changed his evil ways and is ready to grow up. He recently told Rolling Stone, "I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time. Now I feel like I'm extremely open to love." I'm sure Taylor Swift is thrilled to hear that.