Finally, it's your chance to watch the year's most divisive sci-fi thriller in the comfort of your home, and weigh in on the debate! Though director Ridley Scott tried to convince us all that Prometheus isn't a prequel to the Alien franchise, when you see it, it's pretty clear that it is. So how you respond to the new additions to the Alien mythology probably depends on how much you love the original movies.
"I was thinking about the character, and I said, 'You know what? I need a monkey.' Adam said, 'What the fuck are you talking about?' And I said, 'I'm serious — I need a monkey.' When Stacee's not onstage, he's kind of sad. And I thought, This guy has to have a monkey that's his best friend. Adam found this baboon. He sent me the baboon's audition tape, and I said, 'The baboon's name has to be Hey Man.' Stacee Jaxx doesn't work without Hey Man." — Tom Cruise in W Magazine
Even though it's set in the world of '80s hair metal, the upcoming Rock of Ages is, of course, an adaptation of a Broadway musical, so it seems absurd to be concerned in any way about how "metal" it feels; to obsess too long over that particular aspect of the endeavor would be like calling in a zoologist to complain about the mane-integrity in Cats or a roller derby player to critique the skating in Starlight Express. (Don't worry, we just used up all our Broadway references in that sentence.) But this new trailer leaves little doubt that Rock of Ages is about as metal as a dirty Swiffer pad, a bowl of undercooked pasta, the Quaker Oats guy with a Prince Albert. And, you know, that's fine, they're singing Warrant songs, they're not doing the entirety of Ride the Lightning. But it's been kind of a weird year for metal, so maybe we're a little preoccupied, but we're not going to get too worked up about Chicago With Aqua Net, we promise.
Dan Silver: The heavy use of Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian” makes it almost impossible for me to look at this trailer with anything but ire. As far as I’m concerned, that song should have been retired after Boogie Nights. It’ll always be synonymous with “Cosmo, he’s Chinese". But the film is directed by Hairspray’s Adam Shankman, and has assembled a noteworthy -- even for a non-musical -- cast. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Russell Brand aside, I am curious and pumped to see Alex Baldwin, Malin Ackerman, Paul Giamatti and Tom Cruise flex their vocal muscles. Despite its popularity, I’ve avoided seeing the Broadway musical this film is based on because I consider the sole use of previously produced music to be a lazy cop out to wrap a narrative around. But in a cinematic structure, where covers of library music flourish, and with the talent attached, consider me reservedly pumped for this film.
Rembert Browne: Silver, you need to dig up that platinum blonde curly wig and mesh tank top that I know you have in a box labeled "Speedwagon" and go see this film with me.