I'm a man of many silent protests. Currently, I'm silently protesting the neighbors who harass me about my terrible parking, the California tax board, the Apple Care program, American Idol, pants in general, and, of course, the producers of Storage Wars, who so unceremoniously dumped Dave Hester, my favorite “reality” TV show personality of all time, because of the courage he showed in trying to clean up the dirty world of storage-facility-auction-based programming.
If you’re a fellow Storage Wars fan, you’re probably familiar with the story. But for those who hate drama, comedy, and the American dream, here’s a quick primer: Storage Wars has always required a leap of faith. You must believe that someone would squirrel away an entire unblemished, in-their-original-packaging set of Star Wars action figures in a locker otherwise filled with plastic patio furniture and soiled gardening gloves. Or that they would see it fit to put their grandfather’s antique clock collection next to 15 crates of nursing scrubs, Soul Asylum CDs, and diet books from the early ’90s. You must also believe that those same Soul Asylum CDs would fetch a “five dollar bill” and that the patio furniture, which has since turned green, amounts to a “15-dollar bill right there.”