Stephen King has had so many of his books and series turned into movies and TV shows that the "media based on Stephen King works" Wikipedia page is actually as long if not longer than the "Muggsy Bogues" Wikipedia page. (That's not just a random comparison, by the way. I use the "Muggsy Bogues" Wikipedia page as the barometer for most things in my life). But now, for what is probably like the third or fourth time ever in his life, a book Stephen King wrote — in this case, The Dark Tower series — is not getting adapted. Sorry, bro.
On second thought, Universal Pictures has decided not to move forward with Ron Howard's insane-seeming three-movie, two-miniseries mega-adaptation of Stephen King's The Dark Tower, which would have sent Javier Bardem's kids to private school and been one of the most expensive and ambitious productions in history. Instead, they'll more wisely spend the money on the next dozen Fast & Furious sequels. Grade: A [Deadline]
Anger Management, Charlie Sheen's sitcom adaptation of the 2003 Adam Sandler-Jack Nicholson movie, was upgraded from "pipe dream" to "pipe dream with a press release" yesterday with the announcement that Lionsgate subsidiary Debmar-Mercury will distribute the show in the unlikely event that it ever finds a network or a show-runner. "I chose Anger Management because, while it might be a big stretch for me to play a guy with serious anger management issues, I think it is a great concept," said Sheen in the release. Hilarious. Grade: D [HR]