With Total Recall's disappointing debut at the box office — even in its third weekend, The Dark Knight Rises was not to be denied — it's time to start pointing fingers to determine the cause of the misfire. Was Colin Farrell a poor choice to reprise a role made famous by a legendary screen presence like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Was it a crucial creative mistake not to set the movie on Mars? Was a 22-year wait still not enough time to stage a successful reboot? We, of course, have our own theory: not enough three-boobed hooker. Not nearly enough. And so on Monday, we sat down for a chat with the three boobs themselves (Left, Center, and Mandi) to get their reaction to the movie's lukewarm reception, the squandered opportunity to let them save it, and the recipient of the attention that should be directed their way. Our brief conversation follows.

Some months ago, upon the release of an earlier Total Recall trailer, our esteemed colleague Alex Pappademas fretted, Hey, where's that nice, tri-mammaried sex-worker from outer space? I don't see her here, and I was explicitly guaranteed the return of a mutant prostitute with three breasts. (We paraphrase, but that was the thrust of the piece.) Sure, if you dug deeply enough into the movie blogs, you could find promises that the new Recall team knew where its triple-boobed bread is buttered, but the video evidence of such was nonexistent.