The last time around for Ethan Hunt seemed like good-bye. The good folks behind the Mission: Impossible franchise gave the fourth installment a big clunky subtitle — Ghost Protocol — to differentiate it from the last few, and then appeared to be grooming Jeremy Renner to take over. But, as we all should have learned a long time ago, you cannot kill Tom Cruise. Ghost Protocol raked in nearly $700 million worldwide, the best a Cruise movie has ever done, and now Tommy's been invited back once more. As Deadline reports, Cruise is confirmed for Mission: Impossible 5. (No word on who else will be onboard, or who's directing, although Deadline speculates it'll be Christopher McQuarrie, who did Jack Reacher with Cruise.)
It's a special Do You Like Olga Kurylenko Movies? edition of DYLPM? this week, during which Wesley lies on a rug that does not tie any rooms together and he and Alex discuss Oblivion, To the Wonder, twists that aren't really twists, the beauty of a Sonic drive-in at dusk, and how hard it is to do a whole podcast in Terrence Malick Interior Monologue Voice. Spoiler alert: It's really hard.
Hey, Oblivion won the weekend box office! Tom Cruise is back! Or, you know, sort of back. I mean, he was more or less back already, after Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol. But then he had some serious flops, so he was gone again. But this one did pretty well, so he's back. Yep. Back. For now. I think.
And so it goes. Ever since Oprah's couch signaled the latter days of Tom Cruise, the rising and falling and rising box office fortunes of America's no. 1 most-down-for-the-cause, never-say-die movie star have been endlessly scrutinized. In so doing, we seek nothing less than the true answer to that most timeless of Hollywood questions: Do we or do we not like Tom Cruise right now? And I guess, right now, we do? Who knew?
After an arguably false start with last year's Jack Reacher, Tom Cruise, Movie Star, makes a big, blockbustery return this weekend in the post-apocalyptic sci-fi effects-fest Oblivion. And not a moment too soon. This is an HOF that's been a long time coming. Join Grantland as we proudly present our favorite Tom Cruise moments of all time.
Pretty much the one thing I remember from Quantum of Solace (which is, let’s be honest, by far the most forgettable Daniel Craig Bond film) is Ukrainian model/actress Olga Kurylenko striding across the desert in a designer ball gown. Seeing as roughly 80 percent of Bond girls are as interchangeable as men’s magazine covers, I consider that a noteworthy accomplishment. Since then Kurylenko has continued to battle Bond-ian fungibility with eclectic credits in films like hyperkinetic writer/director Martin McDonagh’s Seven Psychopaths and Mitch Glazer’s show about the good ol’ days of Cuban crony capitalism, Magic City. This summer, Kurylenko stars in two films that, if not for her, would never even be mentioned in the same breath: Terrence Malick’s latest art house/spiritual experience, To the Wonderwith Ben Affleck, and the sci-fi mega-movie Oblivion with Tom Cruise.
That’s not so much eclectic as paradoxical, but paradoxical sure can be fun. I chatted with her about twirling through Malick's latest film, Cruise’s incomparable running abilities, and the one thing that a big Hollywood blockbuster and a Malick movie have in common. Read on below!
I still haven't forgiven my family for not interrupting my labor to tell me that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise had separated. I thought they were timing my contractions with their iPhones, but they were totally checking TMZ. Thanks for leaving me out of that experience, guys, you're the best. Just kidding, you're the worst. I wouldn't have needed the epidural if I'd had the ultimate tabloid distraction. Traitors! Tom Cruise has just broken his silence about the divorce while promoting Oblivion, calling life "a tragicomedy" and confirming that he "didn't expect it." He also used the time post-split "to reflect" and, presumably, to cut loose with his thetan friends. "LOL as they say."
If it seems like Tom Cruise can't go more than five minutes without signing on to another big-name, possible-franchise project — almost as if he's foolishly trying to outrun the inevitable, tragic consumption of that fleeting, ineffable life source — well, that's because he is! Since 2011's Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol more or less righted the wayward latter-day journey of the S.S. Cruise, Tommy has churned out Rock Of Ages and Jack Reacher, filmed post-apocalyptic sci-fi numbers Oblivion and All You Need Is Kill, and all but confirmed a fifth go-round for Mission Impossible. Now he's got one more project to throw on the pile.
Angelina Jolie is "Surprise! Boring in bed." Whaaaaaa? This alleged information comes from shade thrown by her ex, Billy Bob Thornton, who has said, "sometimes, with the model, the actress, the 'sexiest person in the world,' it may be literally like fucking the couch." FUCK YO COUCH, BILLY BOB!
Justin Bieber Cheated on Selena Gomez a Lot: "HIGH ON DRUGS, TEEN STAR JUSTIN BIEBER CHEATED ON SELENA GOMEZ WITH A SEXY STRANGER." Just before the holidays, Bieb had a "drug-fueled hookup with another girl." The drug was mostly weed, and the girl was voluptuous 22-year-old L.A. nursing student Mimi Jenson. They were introduced by Lil' Twist, and went to a weed store in Hollywood, a McDonald's, and then back to the hotel. There they "did a lot more than eat." I bet they got a hundred-piece McNuggets. They also "smoked pot and used a baby bottle to measure out the ingredients for sizzurp, the street cocktail made famous by Three 6 Mafia and Ke$ha." Mull that sentence, please.
Back in February 2011, The New Yorker published Lawrence Wright's "The Apostate: Paul Haggis vs. the Church of Scientology," one of the more expansive and informed explorations of the mysterious workings of the organization to date. But that was just the beginning. Wright, the first-ballot journalism Hall of Famer behind the masterful The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11, has now expanded his research into Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief, a book that might just prove to be the defining account of L. Ron Hubbard's minions and all they have wrought.
Ahead of its publication (it's out January 17), THR has excerpts from Going Clear's Hollywood-centric portions, which focus on the church's two biggest names: John Travolta and Tom Cruise. If you do have the time, make sure to read both pieces, which are fascinating and sad and thoroughly unbelievable. (By that point you'll probably want to pre-order the book, too.) But just because the guy in the cubicle over is probably already talking about that time Tom Cruise did a Risky Business on a Scientology sea-faring vessel, we went ahead and picked out some of the craziest bits.
From Kirstie Alley oversharing about conspiring with George Wendt to snap a picture of Ted Danson's dick during the Cheers years to the revelation that Mel Gibson is dating Jennifer Aniston's body double, this year we learned more than we could have possibly ever wanted to about celebrities.
Former Village Voice editor-in-chief and Scientology-busting enthusiast Tony Ortega shot footage of former Scientologist and producer/musician Titziano Lugli listening along to an anti-Xenu rap. It features Nazanin Boniadi, the actress who once auditioned for the role of Tom Cruise’s girlfriend, singing that the religion is “a blind alley, like Kirstie Alley.” Hmm. Maybe they need L.A. Reid for rewrites before this tops the charts.
The first trailer for Oblivion, Tom Cruise's upcoming foray into sci-fi with Tron director Joseph Kosinksi, was released last night. Here are some initial thoughts upon repeated viewing:
1. Tom Cruise is never less convincing than when involved with sports. "The last Super Bowl was played right here … classic game. They call them 'games.' Right? Not matches? Anyway, nameless quarterback throws a prayer pass. Touchdowns!" See also: His awkward free throw at 1:23, his total inability to toss a baseball to his son in War of the Worlds. (And he's still rocking the same Yankees hat. Of course he pretends to like the Yankees. Sigh.)
Scarlett Johansson Is Depressed: "She was totally out of control in Moscow recently" at a champagne brand's promo event. "She was drinking nonstop and barely slept. It was obvious that she was trying to numb her feelings." She's sad about her breakup with ad exec Nate Naylor. "She's not used to going home alone — it's a shock to her system. The fact that Ryan Reynolds is happily married while she's single again has done a number on her. And the drinking is taking its toll — she's been crying because she feels so fat." She got a lucky horseshoe tattooed on her ribcage "because she's feeling a bit unlucky." A rebound with ex-boyfriend Jared Leto quickly went south. "She thought a fling with Jared would make her feel better, but since it was only a hookup, it only made things worse." Time for Lost in Translation 2? I know I'd pay good money to watch Scarlett be sad in Russia.
