We are in the middle of an "angry summer," but on the Internet, we are always in the middle of one angry season or another. Cranky winters and salty springs. U mad? U R. A media event occurs. It is infuriating. People sit down at their laptops, and suddenly it's 12 Angry Men, but nobody has tickets to a baseball game that they've really got to get to. There is all the time in the world, and there are many comfortable chairs available. This rage isn't limited to the predictable commenter "Gotcha" quibbles, because sometimes steam comes out of your ears in an 800-word-thick fog. Here's a sample of what gave the masses hypertension in the past month.
If you always felt that the erotic subtext of Two and a Half Men needed to be explored in the context of Japanese television, you're not alone. The Out Couple! parody is ready to shed light on the story of "two men in progressive America" (you know, "badgers from the same hole") and the "sparkling feelings they kept deep inside their hearts." Let us rejoice in "white creamy love wonderment."
Earlier this week, Angus T. Jones let go a peculiar confession (via an oddly edited interview with a Seventh-day Adventist pastor who's also a YouTube celebrity): "If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I'm on Two and a Half Men and I don't want to be on it. Please stop watching it and filling your head with filth." He'd found God, he announced, and had decided he'd been on the path of sin; in his opinion, the hit CBS comedy that employs him is the work of the devil. And it looked, to all the world, like Two and a Half Men had gifted us with yet another bizarre off-screen spectacle, so soon after Charlie Sheen's dalliance with the warlocks.
As you may or may not have heard, Angus T. Jones — the now 19-year-old Half M[a]n of Two and a fame — has found God and renounced his own show. In a YouTube interview with Seventh-day Adventist pastor Christopher Hudson, a.k.a. The Forerunner, Jones puts it bluntly: "Jake from Two and a Half Men means nothing. He is a non-existent character. If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I'm on Two and a Half Men and I don't want to be on it. Please stop watching it and filling your head with filth." Well, this is totally fascinating.
The Tiger Blood runs once more! CBS announced yesterday that, on an upcoming episode of Two and a Half Men, the ghost of Charlie Sheen’s character will be present — in the form of Kathy Bates. The setup is that Jon Cryer’s character suffers a minor heart attack, and Bates-as-Sheen appears to chat him up. Presumably, this is Men creator Chuck Lorre continuing his cold war with his former star: First he kills off Sheen’s character to replace him with the effervescent Ashton Kutcher, then he has Sheen’s ghost played by a 63-year-old woman who once naked-chased Jack Nicholson out of a hot tub. Hilarious, right?
With its eighth-season premiere on Monday, House became the fifth hit series this fall to return minus a major character. Though personnel changes happen all the time in TV, they can be treacherous. How did this year's affected shows — including The Office, Two and a Half Men, Law & Order: SVU, and CSI — do? Below, we grade them in relation to the replacement of the actresses that played Will's Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Everyone knows it just wasn't the same when Daphne Maxwell Reid took over for Janet Hubert-Whitten, right? On a scale of 1 to 5, with the more Old Aunt Viv's the better, here are the rankings for this fall's turnovers.